Saturday, November 10, 2007

"Gosh, You're Fun In The Sack!" And Other Stupid Things To Tell A Person With MS

I know I am not alone in having people say some really dumb things to me; it makes me think of Southpark when the teacher says there are no stupid questions just stupid people. I don't mind when people ask me what is wrong with me, or what happened. I can handle an honest question meant without offense, but some of the comments and questions that I have heard are so downright dumb it pushes my patience, which is not always in big supply anyway. Here are some of my favorite gems, and I would love to hear any that you have heard. Without further ado, let me say that you really are fun in the sack, because we all know MSers are better lovers, and here is my short list:

1. The people who tell me why I got MS. I have heard it is because of diet sodas, which I never drink, from microwaving food (wouldn't everyone have it then?), and I must have had a back injury that caused it (again, no back injury here).

2. "Can't they do surgery for it?" No. Even if they wanted to try I am not sure I would want anyone messing around with my brain and spine. Although that is not what I said. I told that person that I would need a brain and spine donor and maybe they should offer theirs because they obviously are not using it.

3. "Is that contagious?" This one came out of the blue on me and I was not in the mood to go into all the details of the how and whys, so I just told them they needed a brain to get it. When I hear this, and I have a few times since the first time, I know they are only worried about me coughing on them and them getting it, because nobody wants to walk like me.

4. "God is punishing you for something you did." This one made me so angry it took me awhile to sputter out that I had read the New Testament and I suggested they do too. I also said that I did not think sacrificing the oldest male goat in my herd would cure me.

5. "You're going to be a vegetable!" This one I heard from my mother-in-law. I don't know how many times I have told her otherwise but she is stuck on the idea that her son is going to be married to someone in a vegetative state. And that someone needs to run, not walk, to the nearest lawyer to get a living will so her precious son will be able to pull the plug, ASAP, when that inevitable day comes.

I have also heard a ton about what I need to do to "cure" myself, but that is a post in itself. For the most part I will do what is suggested as long as it is not radical and does not interfere with my approved treatments. I would love to hear what you have been told/asked because it has taken me quite awhile to get to the point of being amused by the stuff people say to me--but it amuses me very much now.

No comments: