Friday, April 24, 2009


I am a very literal person. I can't help it. This morning, opening a new bottle of mouthwash, it had a "purity seal" and I couldn't help but wonder if that meant it waited until marriage to be officially sealed. If it was not sealed under the sacred vows of marriage, would it have been an "impurity seal?" Does that mean that I should have had a seal on me that let the world know that I was impure at marriage? I'm rather old fashioned about such things and deeply believe in test driving something before I buy. I don't want to get stuck with a lemon and have to file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau about some one's failure to disclose the problems of the product I am purchasing. (Come to think of it, I did get a lemon at marriage so I may be giving the BBB a call later today.)

Princess is reading Where The Red Fern Grows in school right now. Why didn't anyone write a book about where the red fern doesn't grow? Was that not as good of a story? I have read many books about where the red fern doesn't grow, and some were really good.

I stopped buying Tidy Cats brand cat litter because I found it does NOT change the cat box habits of the cats at all. I should have known the brand was an oxymoron because when it comes to cat boxes, cats don't know the first thing about being tidy. If I am going to have to sweep up all the cat litter they toss out when using their cat boxes, I am going to spend my dollars on an appropriately named litter
and not fall into a clever marketing ploy. But nice try, Tidy Cats people.

At the car wash there is a big sign letting everyone know that clean cars are happy cars. How do they know? Did they take a poll? Does that mean my little sister's car is unhappy? Should we be on a suicide watch because that car is so disgustingly messy, inside and out, that there is no way it could be a happy well adjusted car? Can you EPC a suicidal car? These are things I really need to know, because if her car goes off the deep end we are stuck with only my car and I don't share well.

Going to Hobby Lobby the other day, to have the money sucked out of my pockets (literally), and to buy more useless crap because we don't have enough even though we just moved a whole house full of it, they had a sign that said they were now hiring "great people." That counts me out. I had to wonder if the people they have working for them met that criteria because I can't think of any place that has bitchier people working for them. Maybe that is why they are searching for great people, to replace the not-great people they already have. Good idea, Hobby Lobby, I will be there to have my money sucked out of me more often if you have great people working for you.

A sign in McDonald's window announced that they were looking for smiling faces. I want to go in there with a huge frown and ask for an application. See how far that gets me. Although I can't believe I would be greeted by smiling faces if I gimped in there to get an application or even a number 2. But they can dream.

We saw a commercial that advertised a product that lasted up to 21 days. I was looking for the product that lasted 22 days, so my search continues.


Jen said...

This is all being filtered through to me in Andy Rooney's curmudgeon voice. Love it....LOL...

Bubbie said...

I've noticed that I have a low tolerance for the absurd. There's a TV commercial for furniture that promises a "limited lifetime guarantee" . What the hell is that?

Denver Refashionista said...

You are too funny. Impurity seal?