Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Back In The Saddle Again

Being somewhat back on my feet, I have the unparalleled pleasure of enjoying the feeling of returning health after a hideous sickness that had me coughing up things I didn't know if I should name or give a proper burial in the back yard to. (By the way, it is so nice to be able to say anything and know that I will not be recognized on the street as the woman who pisses her pants and admits she has to have diflucan to take antibiotics. As the popular saying goes, no shame in my game!) A comment that was left for me amused me very much:

"Forgive me for laughing....you have put it so well, my dear.Feel better soon. But not too soon. you're quite amusing when you're sick"

It made me think of when I had a total hysterectomy and I told my then-husband that he was lucky to never have to deal with a woman with PMS again. And he said almost the same thing as that quote, "I don't know about that; you're pretty funny when you're pissed off." How many men would kick his round butt for such a comment, I wonder?

One of the good things about being sick and unable/unwilling to budge from this chair was the opportunity to visit other MS blogs and see what I was missing. And missing I was! I have found Weeble Girl (http://messystuffalifewithms.blogspot.com/)to be an unending source of originality and humor -- so much so that I am ashamed I didn't add her blog sooner. In all seriousness, I can't stand too much seriousness. I can't have this disease and not laugh at my own ridiculousness from it. I have taken the poem

The whole thing's daft
I don't know why.
You have to laugh
Or else you'll cry.

To be my motto. If I couldn't make fun of myself I would probably shrivel up and bury myself with my goobers in the back yard. I don't write deep thoughts or moving accounts of having MS, it is just not my forte, but I enjoy that perspective from time to time. It reminds me to not be so serious and laugh when I do something dumb. Like the other day at Walmart I closed my bad leg in the door of the car, in a handicapped parking space, surrounded by plenty of spectators who ogled my brilliant move. I thought not having shaved my legs for 5 days (can't really care about such things when sick) the hair would give my legs a little more cushion for such a thing. I was WRONG! It hurt like hell, I yelped and whined like a little girl and peeled out of my handicapped parking space on two wheels.

I get irritated when people treat me like I'm infirm in mind because I'm infirm in body, and I say things that embarrass my little sister when that happens. (Like when they talk loud and slow to me I have to inform them I have MS and my hearing is not gone due to massive earwax buildup. Leaving the store my little sister asked me if I had to say that.) When I have to use a motorized cart to do my grocery shopping, I enjoy flooring it and racing through the store, I even let the kids ride on it with me.

Early on I had to take an inventory of all the baggage I carry around and see what could get tossed aside. I threw out the pride that hinders me from using the assistive devices I need. I threw away all worries about what people think of me. And I had to ditch my desire to wear matching socks -- I can never find 2 of the same so I wear unmatching socks all the time. I ramble too much, but I didn't find that to be too heavy of a load, so I kept it. My lack of shyness I kept too because I enjoy returning peoples' smiles in public or having a small chat with someone who may be lonely and just wants someone to talk to. I also kept my willingness to say things others' may not want to talk about. Yes, it draws criticism from time to time, but I haven't found that to be too burdensome.

4 comments:

BRAINCHEESE said...

Mkay...I go away for 10 days, only to return and find NINE unread posts here?!? WTF!?!? Glad to see you've finally found your *voice*...or at least finally healed enough to drag yourself to your keyboard.

Thanks for the Wednesday morning laugh(s)...YOU are like a breath of fresh air in a sewage plant, m' dear...

Linda D. in Seattle

Jen said...

It's easier for me to laugh than cry. It's also easier for me to write about the disease itself than to write about me WITH the disease. If I blogged about myself, it would be so terribly boring! So I'm glad I can come here and get a chuckle- thanks.

Now I have to go and concoct an upbeat article for my site. Maybe a bio? Not sure.

Shauna said...

Again, I am giggling while reading your posting. I laugh all the time about my silliness or clumsiness.

I must try the unmatched socks thing at work to see if anyone would notice. Most of my socks, though, are the white athletic ones....may have to get some coloured ones just to be silly.

S.

Denver Refashionista said...

I'm trying to reconnect with the laughter. Hasn't happened yet but I'll keep you posted.