Feel My Pain

I enjoy my mornings all to myself. I like to get up, stumble out the back door to let the dogs out while having a smoke, start my coffee, brush my teeth, throw my morning meds down my gullet, and get on here to play some text twist to jump start my slow brain. No one gets up as early as me and I like it that way. I get some time to myself to prepare for the day; a time to do my own thing in peace and quiet before everyone staggers out of their beds to harass and annoy me for the rest of the day. But not today. My 7 year old nephew is staying with us this weekend and I don't call him and his sister Talk-a-hontas and Jabber Smith for nothing. I barely had 3 minutes to myself when he boiled out of his sister's room, saw me up and started a running commentary on anything and everything he could think of. He had to catch me up on everything that I might have missed out on while we were all sleeping and then some. He started to play Wii and I sat here trying to do text twist with him looking over my shoulder suggesting words that didn't have all the letters for me to make and asking me what every word I got meant. When not trying to "help" me, he was asking me a million and one questions about the game he was playing on Wii, a game I haven't played and know nothing about.

Jabber Smith: What do these bombs do? Why is that guy over there?
Blindbeard: Stop picking your nose!
JS: What does "smite" mean? How do I get those bombs? Look at me do this!
BB: Do you need a Kleenex? Stop picking your nose!
JS: Watch me! How many times have you done this?
BB: Your going to make me sick! Get your FINGER OUT OF YOUR NOSE!
JS: Try "DOD." Darn! I missed that one! Look at this! Do you miss that one ever?
BB: "DOD" isn't a word. Your going to make your nose bleed. Go get the Kleenexes!
JS: Why aren't I moving? C'mon! They cheated!
BB: You have to hold the control the right way. If you eat that I will puke all over you!
JS: Dude! How many of your cats are boys? Do you have any girls? This one looks sad!
BB: Don't you dare try to hide eating that! If you don't get the Kleenexes right now I will PUKE!

And so on. My brains are fried and I can't even finish a thought between his constant chatter and my need for constant vigilance to make sure he doesn't find any snacks in his nose. I had to go get the box of Kleenexes for him and put them right next to him. It still didn't stop him from trying to hide under a blanket to pick in peace. I ripped the blanket off him and tossed the Kleenexes under there and threw the blanket back over him. He claims he is done with his nose, probably because he got tired of hearing about it, getting caught and not having his excuses for having his finger permanently embedded in his nose accepted. I wasn't hatched yesterday and I've had kids before. That and I really will puke if he doesn't stop it and if I puke I am going to do it all over him.