Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Defining Moments

There are moments in life where it all comes together and you realize this is what I'm here for. Lately, while keeping my TN and couch company, I have been reflecting on some of those fabulous moments and not one to keep anything to myself, I have to share them. These are a few moments where I almost burst with pride and joy that my life has meaning even at times when I can't see it.

The other day at dinner (we always eat at the table as a family even if it is just Princess and I, my being old school like that) Princess was telling a story from school about a girl in her class who is somewhat of a bully. Princess was talking to someone else in her class and this girl told her to stop acting popular because she's not. We all laughed at the story and Princess told her she was just jealous because she's not popular either. Princess went on to say that she doesn't care what anyone thinks and I almost died and went to heaven/hell (not sure where I am heading) right there. Later this same girl pushed her into her locker and Princess pushed her back. At her old school Princess was having some trouble with a boy who was bullying her. I got tired of the teacher never seeing it and her coming home with bruises and marks on her so I told her to fight back. She was worried about getting into trouble but I told her that if I was called into the school because my little girl fought back against a big fat bully boy I would go in with a grin like the Cheshire cat and ask what my little girl did to this much bigger boy and why exactly did they have a problem with it?! Once she started returning his pushes he decided that this little girl has some fire in her and maybe he shouldn't mess with her. What made me push out my chest and walk a little taller was when she took him on for bullying others. He was picking on a boy in her class that always came to school in dirty torn up clothes and smelling bad. I told Princess to be nice to him even though he wasn't always the nicest, or ignore him even, but don't add to his misery because a child that goes to school that way is having some major problems at home. So the bully was picking on him and pushing him around and she got into the fray and pushed the bully back and told him to pick on someone his own size if he could find someone as fat as him. I would be hard pressed to find a moment that has made me more proud than I was of her for that.

My maternal relatives live in Michigan, 20 miles from Jackson in a tiny village packed with nothing to do. It has been a goal of mine for several years to go to Jackson while playing Johnny Cash's Jackson as loudly as possible. Why that was a goal of mine, I can't say. It was just on my list of things to do before I die. I am a HUGE Johnny Cash fan and I have wanted to go to Jackson while singing about going to Jackson for some time. So 2 years ago I had both my sisters and their kids with me when we decided we needed to go to Jackson because the fire has definitely gone out where my grandma lives -- actually I don't think there ever was a fire there, but why split hairs? My older sister has a totally tubular sound system that can be cranked up without distortion so we rolled into Jackson with our windows down and our system up and enjoyed the shocked/disgusted/horrified stares of the locals. Not only did I get to go to Jackson while singing off key about going to Jackson, but I had the people I care about most with me --minus my mom, she was gabbing with her family. It was the icing on the cake to be able to share that moment with them.

My dog is a gay homosexual. There is no way around that. I don't care what his sexual preference is, but I do care when he doesn't stick to his own species. At my old house we had a cat that had been through hell when he adopted me. Some kids had gotten ahold of him, tied a rope around his tail and did things to him that broke his tail and eventually made the greater part of his tail fall off because he was so scared of people I couldn't get the rope off in time to save the rest of his tail. Naturally we named him Stubby. Stubbs was a lover when he knew and trusted you but would hide from people he didn't know. I protected that cat from any harsh words, he being sensitive to loud noises or any kind of angry voice. But I couldn't always protect him from my horny dog. Both of them were fixed so I thought (wrongly) that it wouldn't be an issue. My dog is a yellow lab so he is much bigger than a cat, but he went after that poor cat with a zeal that made me see red -- the only time I ever broke my rule of never hitting my animals. He would be so busy trying to mount and hump Stubbs that I could come up behind him and give him a swift kick in the rear or give his tail a good yank. He knows when I pull his tail that he in in BIG trouble and as much as he hates it, he knows better than to try and bite or fight me about it, as much as he wants to. Stubbs had to be left at my old house, being an outdoor cat who only came in once in awhile I didn't want him to freak out by being moved and have something bad happen to him, plus my ex-husband likes him and wanted to keep him. I thought the sodomy would stop. Me and my rose colored glasses! He decided that Midget would make a good lover and has transferred his lovings to him. Luckily Midget is not one to surrender his virgin behind willingly and fights back. I was thrilled that my dog finally was interested in his own species but it only got better. The other day my older sister's female dog was over playing with our dogs and my dog, for the first time ever, tried to make puppies with a female of his own species! I was so proud! If the nosy neighbors decided to see what the hullabaloo was all about, at least my dog had the decency to do it with the correct animal to continue their species, not 2 males fighting bitterly, one oversexed and the other trying to fight him off like a Catholic school girl. There is no mistaking what he is doing when he pins down Midget and starts pumping away. And there is no mistaking Midget's very obvious displeasure, or my great embarrassment when I see the neighbors looking on in confusion and trying to herd their kids back inside before they figure it our too. I don't care if my dog is gay, I just wish he'd keep it private and not display it for the whole neighborhood. The only bright side is that he is not interested in humans at all, so I don't have to try and stop him from humping people. My older sister has a dog that is a lesbian and is always trying to climb on female visitors so she has to warn females who come over about the dog. I think that is worse than my dogs having a lover's quarrel in the back yard.

5 comments:

Jen said...

What the heck is going on in that house of yours?!

I LOVE Johnny Cash-- even in NJ-- and sometimes Bill looks like him when he can't find a contrasting shirt and pants for work and defers to his all black outfit (including belt and shoes. I guess it's worse when he wears his all-brown outfit and looks like the UPS guy.)

Sometimes this blog is just too precious...

Heather said...

Hilarious! Thanks for making my day.

BRAINCHEESE said...

PDDA???? Public Doggy Display of Affection.

Yeah, I remember growing up in Nebraska and all I can say is, thank goodness no HUMAN is trying to have sex with your DOG!!!!

OK, I'll leave it...LOL

Linda D. in Seattle

Denver Refashionista said...

LOL

pUNKrOCKfairy said...

For whatever reason, my dog only gets turned on by male humans. Which is unfortunate because he's a 240 lb. male English Mastiff, and a great percentage of male humans are smaller than him!