Sunday, November 30, 2008

Bringing Myself Up To Speed

Where have I been, you may be asking? I feel like I have been in a coma for the last week or so. Getting acclimated to a higher dose of Neurotin, trying to keep up with all the itchy spots that need scratching, and a life of absolutely nothing interesting in it have all combined to put me into a deep sleep Rip Van Winkle style. When I awoke from my sleep I discovered a house that nobody had done anything in while I was asleep. The trash stacked up in an embarrassingly high pile, laundry up to their eyeballs (yet still unnoticed), and dishes that blocked the sink and made it impossible to use. So with all that, let me do one of my favorite things and break it all down with fun bold titles and get myself back on track so I can commence my usual blather.


I saw the shrink about a week ago and she was wonderful! I was really dragging my feet about going, not being a person who likes to talk about my problems whether they are professionals or not. I told myself I was going to be 100% honest with her so that I can get on the right meds to help me get back to myself again. I drove down to the ghetto to her office, right in the middle of a bunch of boarded up houses and with men wearing shower caps and pushing filched shopping carts with all their worldly belongings in them walking around. I wasn't even remotely worried about them, most of them waved to me anyway, obviously knowing a kindred soul when they see one. The only difference is that I don't know where my shower cap is and I would need quite a few filched shopping carts to push around all my crap. I told her I wasn't impressed with the location of her office or the parking situation -- it was a block away and not a great idea for us gimps who can't walk very far without some kind of support. Sugarbowl asked, in shocked horror, did I really say that?! I asked her how long has she known me and she had to concede that, yes, I really would say that. The shrink tweaked my meds and I am still trying to get acclimated to those. I'm getting a little tired of all this acclimation in my life and look forward to being used to all the crap I have to swallow throughout the day.

This house!

After almost 10 loads of laundry, I think I may be able to see the laundry room floor in places. I have been on almost constant laundry detail and cursing my lazy roomies under my breath. I love living here, with my little sister and my big sister 2 blocks away. But, gods help me, I wish they were not so lazy (not my big sister, Mellow Yellow)! I have been under the weather with all this attack-y stuff going on and trying to get used to new/higher dosages of meds and nobody noticed that they were tripping over the messes everywhere. Now that I have woken up I have been cracking the whip over them and assigning chores to my fellow inmates of this house, much to their delight. They run away from me when they see "that look" on my face, knowing I can't possibly run after them, and even hide from me sometimes. They have to emerge sometime and when they do I am there waiting, with a chores list in hand to beat them with. I had to threaten Sugarbowl that if I have to pick one more of her hairballs out of the shower drain, I am going to put them on her side of the bed. I haven't had to pick any out since then, her knowing that I mean business. (*Side Note: Princess said that now that so much laundry is done, her closet looks like mine: stuffed full of clothes I never wear. I wanted to argue that statement, but I couldn't, knowing that I resemble that remark.)

Has Anyone Seen My Sleep?

I think having been comatose for too long I am too well rested to get any good sleep anymore. I have been setting the alarm so that I only get an hour of nappy time so that maybe I can get some sleep at night. Alas, it is not so. I'm lucky to get 5 hours of sleep at night no matter how little I nap during the day and it is getting old. I toss and turn and it takes me forever to get to sleep at night. I am not used to this. I usually fall asleep so fast I have to hurry up and get myself in a good position -- make sure the covers and pillows are just right so I don't wake up stiff or frozen from them being wrong. I don't know where my sleep has gone and I have checked every inch of my bed: under the pillows, in between the blankets, even under the sheets all to no avail. It is no where to be found. So if you find my sleep, please send it back to me. I really miss it and am sick to death of getting up at 4am. Princess says that anyone who gets up that early is not normal. I say, "Duh! Have you met me?"

Does Anyone Else Lose Their Appetite From A Higher Dose Of Neurotin?

Talk about a catch 22! If I don't take the higher dose of Neurotin I am hungry but in too much pain to eat. If I take the Neurotin, which I have to, knowing that you have to keep a certain level in the body and not to suddenly lower the dose, I lose the desire to eat and if I do eat it makes me sick. Pants that used to hug the life out of me (what I lovingly call my denim girdles) are getting loose. Sugarbowl says that all the weight I have lost she has found. I wouldn't mind some weight loss, but am concerned about my body going into starvation mode and saving every bite of food as fat for the next medicine-induced famine. I nibble at food throughout the day, making sure to only eat enough to take the edge off any hunger, otherwise the nausea will kick my shrinking buttocks. I'm curious if anyone else has this problem.

There you go, pigeons, that is where I am at. I have barely been on the computer at all and need to get back to your blogs and see how you are doing. I miss you guys and am really missing what you have to say. It is so refreshing to read blogs that say what I am feeling, usually in much better wording than I could come up with.


Jen said...

Sounds almost like you're on a stimulant. Tweaked psych meds? Good that the Neurontin seems to be losing its coma-like effects. Yeah, I wonder myself what would become of the house if this professional hausfrau wasn't here to keep things from falling into shambles.


Probably should look at WHAT meds you are taking at WHAT time(s) of day...could be affecting your sleep.

As for the Morontin (my pet phrase for how I feel when I have to take Neurontin), yes...I have heard of people losing their appetite on high doses of the drug. Sadly or not so, there ARE other drugs to combat the side effects of the drugs you are on! Personally, just smoke a doobie and it will probably do the same as an appetite stimulant...but of course you did NOT hear that from me!!!

But whatever about all that crappy drug advice...I have been jonesing myself for a hit of BlindBeard, so I'm glad you are back!!!

Linda D. in Seattle

Chekoala said...

Perhaps consider taking up boxing - seriously, it is surprisingly uplifting and helps get out lots of that built up 'thwarted energy' that otherwise mounts as dangerous frustration through not being able to move and getting fatigued.

The group I do it with - 15 minutes worth around the group is plenty - ranges from those who do not use any aids to those in wheelchairs and with limited movement of their arms and everyone inbetween - balance issues, walkers and gawd's nose what else. And we are all beaming ridiculously afterwards.

Exercise has the added bonus of really helping provide an outlet to settle all that exasperation and frustration that can otherwise start to run rampant and take you hostage. MS is not an excuse to not do anything about keeping some exercise going. And exercise itself comes with lots of other bonuses: better sleep, better digestion, better concentration, better smile factor.

happy adventuring... cheers muchly