Loose Ends

A few quick things I want to say then I am off to hunt up some cheap crap that I don't need at stores that know I am there to spend my pennies and welcome me with open arms, ie Hobby Lobby. That place sucks the money right out of my pockets, even if I just drive by I swear I lose a few dollars.

*Please comment away. I love all and any comments so don't ever feel the need to not comment because you think you comment too much. Your comments amuse me so much I would really miss hearing anything you have to say. I yukked it up over Diane's comment about only finding lesbians at hardware stores and that I need to look in the frozen food aisle for boyfriends and think when the time is right I may have to invest in some eau du meatloaf to try out her theory. In fact, I enjoy most of the comments so much I share them with my family and lay in bed at night still laughing at some of the things you guys (Midwesterner, we say "guys" for everything) come up with. So please do not hesitate to bury me under comments. One of the highlights of my day is to check my email and see what you have to say. Hmmm, meant that as a compliment but with a life full of low lights not sure how flattering that was, but you get my point.

*I have been meaning to thank you all for the awards that you have bestowed on me. I even have several drafts thanking everyone for the awards and appreciation that you gave me. The best part about it is that I started this website to say my piece (and get out?) and I never dilute myself on here, so it surprises me that people would enjoy that. I am totally myself (for better or for worse) so I am very pleased that people like me ("you like me! you really like me!"). I honestly thought I would get more negativity for my point of view, so to be appreciated and even enjoyed was a very pleasant surprise. I am glad that others, who may not always agree with me, enjoy what I have to say. In a strange way it is like an acceptance of who I am and that has done me a world of good.

*I am in total agony with my stupid TN. I upped my dose of Neurotin, which has been a god-send and I praise the gods of Neurotin throughout the day. When I talked to my neurologist, she said that I could go up to 3 times the dose I was taking. But I am slowly working my way up as I need it. I am loving the sleepy release that it gives me and even wake up at night when it wears off, so I keep a glass of water and some pills on my nightstand. It has made me cross and irritable but I am trying to not punish others because of my pain. Although Princess has taken to calling me "Mr. Krabbs" when I am short-tempered and cross. And because I am often too cross to write, my blogs may slow down a bit until I get this under control. I am having a whole host of problems and if I didn't know better (??) I would think I am having a relapse, which brings me to my next loose end.

*My neurologist said that a break through attack is rare on Tysabri; but if there is a 70% reduction in relapses wouldn't that leave 30% of the attacks? I think I have said that before, but I can't remember if anyone had any answers. It only makes sense to me. 70% is not 100%, so therefore I should expect an attack from time to time, right? It has been over 1.5 years of attack-free bliss, so it only makes sense to me that I should have an attack from time to time. When I called about pain management, the nurse said that my neuro wanted to see me in the clinic. I let loose a hearty, "DAMN!" then apologized. The nurse, nonplussed, said she hears a lot worse and got a good laugh out of my reluctance to see my neuro so soon again. Do the IV steroids help TN? I don't know but I am willing to do them if they will help, and the only way I would ever consent to doing them again is in extreme circumstances. And this is an extreme circumstance. My little sister is against my using steroids again because the last time I went crazy and she is worried about how I will take it now that my life is worse. She said I will have to have someone with me the whole time and even for sometime after, until I am past a certain time period. She says I lost the luxury of being alone if doing steroids and need an around-the-clock babysitter if I do them. She reminded me of the horrors of the loony bin to make me think this through, but I am willing to do anything if it will give me some relief.

I think that about sums it up. I'm riding the Neurotin pain-free high and want to terrorize the natives before it wears off.