Sunday, November 9, 2008

Old Hat

In news that will shock no one, the SSA has denied my request for a review and upheld the judge's decision. *Yawn* It is so unshocking I was expecting it. The only good news is that it can sometimes take up to 2 years to get a denial, so I didn't expect to hear so soon, even though I knew what the answer was. I'm glad they turned me down so quickly so that I can move (on up?) to the next stage: a civil suit. Even though there were material errors the judge made, they still came up with some cockamamie reason why they were going to uphold it. A reason devoid of any logic or reason, but it only adds to my determination to fight it. What else do I have to do besides shake an impotent fist at the SSA and make lewd gestures at them? Not much. All this reminds me of a friend of my ex's whose father had terminal cancer and was trying to get SSI. The man was in a wheelchair, on oxygen, home bound, and had a nurse to care for him full time, yet he fought the SSA for 3 years about whether he was disabled or not. When he got his first denial he wheeled his happy butt down to the SSA and told them that he can't even wipe his own ass, yet he was supposed to be able to do _____?! I can't remember what it was they said he could do. He died before he could win SSI, which I'm sure the SSA breathed a huge sigh of relief that one had died before they had to pull out the dusty, cobweb covered, rarely used "FAVORABLE" rubber stamp. I think they have a posse of trained monkeys to stamp "DENIED" on every application that comes in, monkeys that they buy bananas for with the money they are not giving to the disabled so they can have some semblance of a life -- the disabled, not the monkeys. Maybe I could get a job as a trained monkey. As long as I get a long nap break and can pull out the "FAVORABLE" stamp, I'm game.

If you are thinking you may need SSI any time within the next bazillion years, start saving your pennies now and get on the ball. It is a long drawn out process that has taken me almost 4 years so far and I see no end in the near future. I really want to file a suit against the SSA, against the judge, against the while process. They do not see MS as a disabling disease regardless of the evidence in front of their ugly, brain damaged, stunted reasoning processes, infuriating faces. I hate the whole lot of them, even though I hide it really well. I have a whole army of doctors who have submitted an encyclopedia of evidence to show that I did not find a crackpot doctor who was willing to say whatever it takes to get me disability so I can sit on my butt and do nothing all day. My little sister's ex's sister (still with me? Her ex sister-in-law.) never worked, never wanted to have to work, wanted to sit around and not brush her teeth -- seriously, her teeth are (what are left of them anyway) are rotten butter slabs -- and get paid to do so. She found a doctor in her town willing to say that she had a mental disorder. I don't find terminal laziness to be disabling, but what do I know? First they tried the bi-polar angle but when that didn't pan out and she got denied they changed it to schizophrenia. I've known several schizophrenics in my life and she is not schizophrenic. She finally got disability after 3 years for a diagnosis that changed more than Princess changes her unmentionables. I've had 2 respected neurologists submit their opinions that I can't work, a damning file from a psychiatric hospital, an ugly summary of my mental issues from a psychiatric nurse, the findings of my therapist who has been in the business of shrinking for over 25 years, and even a report from one of the SSA agents themselves, yet none of that meant a thing.

I don't want to start to rail against those who get disability when I may not be able to discern why, because I also know there are people who would think that about me. But I don't give a hoot what others' think. If I thought I could get a job and support myself, I would do it. But I know that I have a legitimate claim and I am not about to drop the case. I have to stop before I disintegrate into negative words and impotent threats that could get me into trouble.


Jen said...

Please just keep going with this case. What is your disability lawyer saying about all this? Yeah, I guess it gets tougher after the 3rd rejection. I didn't realize when I first read about your disability case (a while back) that you had your day in court (albeit from a "conference call" sort of set-up.) The decision gets tougher to overturn at that point-- I suppose all of a sudden a judge's decision is sacred.

Well, it has been done and just keep going with your lawyer, even if it takes another 2 years. I'm so sorry because I see you struggling. But keep going with this because you must and you have it in you. We've all seen it!

If you're interested in making a bit of money and doing some writing, is looking for topic guides who write a weekly article and a blog (really just a paragraph or two promoting the article) about a number of topics. Granted some of the topics are very specific, but I can't help but give you this info just in case. It's on's homepage in the bottom right corner-- "Be a Guide." Might help take your mind off things and let you do something you love-- write.



Jen said...

PS: The amount of money at can be confirmed with your lawyer (if you find a topic and want to make some money because it's less than the gainful amount you can make on disability--$940?/ month currently?) I don't even nearly make that right now, so I'm not certain. But your lawyer would know.

I'm done.

Bubbie said...

Your post gave me pause to count my blessings this morning. I'm so sorry you have had to endure this load of crap and red tape. It's insanity. What do they expect people to do... just how desperate do they want people to become?
I was extremely lucky. Did I say EXTREMELY? I applied in the month of January and received my first check in June of the same year.
Sorry, I'm not rubbing anything in, but I seem to be the minority.I have never heard of anyone else getting it that easily. I hit the SS lotto I guess.
Don't give up.

Denver Refashionista said...

Keep fighting. If this is what you need then in the long run it will be worth it.

pUNKrOCKfairy said...

Damn. I know a girl who qualified for SSI because of her ANXIETY for chrissakes! If I feel that someone's out to smite you, YOU MUST feel that way.

That blows.

That is all.


Bastid asshats...

Linda D. in Seattle

Charles-A. Rovira said...

Jen, my wife turned me onto your blog because I have MS and I am about to "gird my loins" and go into battle with the semi-simians myself.

The root of of the term legal is the Latin word legare, which means choose.

The body of law is merely a pile of choices we have made in order to live with each other.

No judges word is ever to be considered as final. Its merely his latest opinion.

Take that fact to heart and know that no law is ever carved in the stone that seems to occupy the place in the chest where a heart should be.

You just have to appeal to their sense of the ridiculousness of the situation.

I mean its like the old joke about a soviet heart clinic at the top of a long, steep set of stairs. If you could make it up the stairs to see the doctor, you obviously didn't need his services.

If the judge had to decide on the fate of a quadraplegic, would the judge find against the quadraplegic because that person couldn't appear before him in his courtroom, because the court can't accommodate the bed into the court.

In my own case, I should have a great deal of, uh, fun because if he tells me to go out and get a job, I'll thank him very much for his offer and tell him that I'll be reporting for work in his chambers in the morning.

I've had two years of looking and wherever I've had an interview, I lasted until I shuffled in on my cane and then the prospective employer's mind closed as thoroughly as the judge's.

In this economy, you have to be able to dance to the employer's tune, regardless of how much dancing the job itself requires.

Part if the problem is that America hates its own citizens.

America has a system of health-don't-care, set up for the sake of political expediency by Richard M. Nixon, a clinical paranioac, and Humana Insurance as a very profitable Ponzi scheme, and as such is the last remaining industrialized country not to have universal health care. (Notice I wrote industrialized, not civilized.)

Now that profits are drying up, now that the pool of insured is shrinking as companies downsize and the millions of people moved off of the books, and now that that the insurance companies' draconian methods of denying benefits are getting harder to justify, the need of the citizens of this country for some kind of universal health care is becoming undeniable.