Monday, December 1, 2008

Dear (John) Paxil,

We have been together for almost 7 years now, 7 glorious, fabulous, non-anxiety ridden years. And while our time together has been great, I feel it is time for me to move on. Its not you its me -- okay, it is you. You just are not meeting my needs anymore. Once upon a time you were there for me. You cared and shrunk my mental problems like no one else could at that time. But not anymore. Now you are falling short of the high standards you once reached and are no longer able to meet the needs I have to get my depression under control. You have been great with my overwhelming anxiety and cycling thoughts, but now I need something more, something you cannot give me. I need something to help me get back to myself, make me feel better while stopping the hideous anxiety I have at the same time. It breaks my heart to have to leave you and I will always have fond memories of you and I cuddling on the couch and watching Spongebob together. The peaceful nights you gave me, the calm days when I could venture out of the house without worry about a panic attack rearing its ugly head. My dear dear Paxil, please try to understand, there are others out there who really need you right now; you have so much to offer those with lesser degrees of mental problems than I have, non-MSers who do not have so much nasty stuff going on it their heads. It just wouldn't be right to keep you all to myself when you could do so much more if I set you free.

I need to be totally honest with you and admit that I have fallen in love with someone else. It was not a premeditated thing, it just happened. I still want us to be friends and when we see each other out and about, to be civil to each other. Even though I have 2 new loves right now, please don't think me a whore. I found that just one of you will not do for me anymore. Don't hold it against them, hold it against my neurologist and shrink, they felt I could do better than you and I have to agree with them. Why settle for less than what I need? And you are less than what I need.

I need to spread my wings and get back to life in a way you cannot help me with or be a part of. I won't forget our 7 years of happiness and will always think fondly of you, but I must go now. Please don't try to contact me, I will contact you if need be -- but don't hold your breath. Go and find someone better than me (good luck!), someone you can help, someone who will appreciate the peace and calm you can provide, because it isn't me anymore. Goodbye, Paxil, and fare thee well.

Love,
BB

6 comments:

Jen said...

BIG, gigantic laugh!!! (I even snorted, but only the cat heard it..)

This is making me think of those adds where the lady of the house dumps her mop or broom for a Swiffer and the jilted cleaning tool tries to woo her back. The mop is waiting for the woman in a candle-lit hot tub? A broom is coyly hiding behind a tree while someone delivers his candy or flowers? "Baby come baaaccckkk--you can blame it ALL-ON-ME..."

Jen said...

All right, I'm getting rid of the turkey. Dear (John) Turkey...

LISA EMRICH said...

Ditto what Jen said. ROFLMAO.

Denver Refashionista said...

It is good to know when you need something else. I take Klonopin sometimes for my anxiety attacks or very tiny amounts to keep myself from getting anxious on days when I show a tendency. It really helps.

BRAINCHEESE said...

Mind if I copy this one off for work? We mental health freaks just LOVE a good psych laugh! (You WERE joking, right??!? LOL)

Linda D. in Seattle

Weeble Girl said...

Tag, you're it if you want to participate. Hope things look up for you soon.
Hugs, Weeble Girl