Thursday, August 7, 2008

Member's Card

Update: Thanks for the comments! I had no idea that one could get an MS card, although I doubt it would be as much fun as my own. For some reason I really want that picture of me on it, like a passport. And I have visions of signing my name in huge block letters with crayon.

In this ongoing saga that is my life, I have recently run into a problem that I have discussed before -- I think, can't remember right now. Due to the decision of a &#$@ judge, I am still unable to afford to be alive, yet I am still carrying on. (Side note: There is no way I would do anything to myself right now and let the SSA off that easy. I refuse to back down and am determined to show them what one little (not that I am little, mind you. I am 5'10" barefoot.) crackpot can do. And when this is over I intend to donate my services to advocacy for those going through this same crap.) I recently was asked to provide proof that I have MS. Maybe I missed the day they were handing out membership cards -- I was probably napping or eating the peanut butter -- so I was somewhat dumbfounded as to what they wanted. The copy of my MRIs? The results of my spinal tap? Me to go through the Evoked Potentials for them? Show them my hang tag and the verifying paper that comes with it? And I couldn't help but wonder who would want to fake having Multiple Sclerosis?! It is not like it is cool to have it. It doesn't give you any leg up on anything. I am not now suddenly endowed with multiple talents to pave the way to riches and happiness. So why would I say I had it when I didn't? I can only suppose that the people who were asking for verification were used to people pulling out any excuse for why they do not/cannot work. My neurologist wrote a letter saying this person has MS, is under my care, on such and such meds and so on. I asked my sister if she thought that if I made a card for myself identifying that, yes, indeed, I do have MS, my neurologist would sign it. I am not sure if my neurologist would or not, but I have spent the better part of this morning working on a card for myself. I am not going to post personal info, but here is the rest. In case you haven't figured this out yet, if you do not understand, "tongue in cheek" this may not be for you. So with tongue firmly in cheek, here is what I have come up with so far:

(The picture above is the picture I am using for my Membership Card. I know, I am so photogenic. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!)

Membership Card
This card verifies that the individual named herein is a member of the elite Multiple Sclerosis Club. The holder of this card is entitled to all the benefits of said Club, including but not limited to:
Using, “I have MS” as an excuse to not do what others want you to do that is beyond your abilities.
Using, “I have MS” to explain why you do not work if you are unfortunate enough to not be able to work.
Using, “I have MS” to weed out possible dates that may not be up to dealing with this disease.
Using, “I have MS” to justify why you have no balance if pulled over by law enforcement and cannot perform a field sobriety test.
Using, “I have MS” as a recognized reason for spending the majority of the day resting.


Lisa Emrich said...

Seriously, you can get your very own MS ID Card here:

Get Your MS ID Card
The Rocky Mountain Multiple Sclerosis Center offers MS ID cards as a service to people with MS. The card lists vital information on one side and common MS symptoms on the back.

To receive an MS ID Card, please open and print the PDF form below. A verification of your MS diagnosis is also required along with a $10 processing fee. Have your physician sign a statement of your diagnosis on letterhead or prescription pad. Physician’s verification can be mailed or faxed to 303-788-5418.

Rocky Mountain MS Center
701 E Hampden Avenue, Suite 420
Englewood CO 80113-2760

Denver Refashionista said...

I saw a sort of joke in an MS brochure. It said, "Here's my dog, here's my husband and here's a picture of my latest MRI." Now you have to carry one in your wallet to prove membership in the cool kids MS club.


**Gargle, gargle...spew, wipe**

Ah, that would be the sound of ME spitting a slurp of soda ALL OVER MY FLOOR when I clicked on your blog and saw that picture!!! OMG Your blog should come with a warning if you're going to be so dayumed funny...

Well, I guess I should just be thankful I only spit pop and didn't also pee myself...LOL

Linda D. in Seattle

Jen said...

I dig the photo....