To Grandmother's House I Go

Dear Readers,

I will be going to the fabulous state of Michigan to visit my aged grandmother, who is 92 or 93 -- I can never remember. I only know that my mother's family lives in a tiny town that can boast 1 gas station, 1 grocery store stocked with only one brand name or a generic (no, seriously. You can get Ruffles or the white bag with black writing that says, "CHIPS." And you pay out the arse for everything because they know you have no other choice.), and 1 ice cream shop. It is near where Malcolm X grew up, which is great because I love his autobiography, and about 1.5 hours from Detroit. I will be spending the next week in the land of no Internet, with nothing to do but listen to my grandmother tell me about the bible -- her favorite subject. Honestly, I would rather stay home but my grandmother lives alone, is going blind and enjoys her family visiting so much that I feel guilty if I don't go. I hope your week is a bazillion times better than mine. I am off to be schooled in all things bible and God, eat too much ice cream because there is nothing else to do, and shake my fist at the bastards that fleece the customers of that small town. The only good thing is the great rocks and fossils in Michigan. We have found arrowheads before and we collect so many rocks each year that we can barely fit our luggage in at the end of vacation. I'll be back in about a week,
Love,
Blindbeard