Thursday, August 21, 2008

Origin Of The Name "Blindbeard"

My first major attack, the one that made me see a doctor, started with the most common symptom that makes people with MS seek out a doctor: optic neuritis. It started with a numb left leg and double vision in my left eye. At first only when I looked slightly off to any side, but quickly disintegrated into total double vision and massive dark spots all over my vision, making me almost completely blind. I had horrible ataxia, which is one of my favorite medical terms, and couldn't see anything unless I put in about 2 inches from my face. My little sister said she wanted to take me to Victoria's Secret, watch me shop for unmentionables, and see how long it took for them to throw me out of the store for being a pervert. (I am totally amendable to that plan and the next time I have that kind of vision problem, expect to hear the story of my being thrown out of VS.) One of my little sister's favorite things to call me when I can't see something right in front of my face, is Blindbeard the butt pirate. I am not much of a butt pirate, not being into butt hole pleasures of any kind, but her calling me that always makes me laugh, mostly at myself because it is so true.

I am a huge Spongebob fan and the "Argh" episode where they are pirates and Patrick puts on 2 eye patches and calls himself Blindbeard the pirate is one of my favorites. Especially as he stumbles around and falls over -- so me. I even had to use an eye patch to see anything during that first horrible attack, which lasted a little over 6 weeks even though I did the steroids for it. That always makes me wonder how long the attack would have lasted if I had not done the steroids. I had a major attack about 6-7 months later that took my whole right side, even up through my scalp, that was the most tingly, gross, itchy, and painful attack I have ever had -- but I didn't lose my vision on that one. I did the steroids for that attack too, but it still lasted almost 3 months. Again, how long would it have lasted without the steroids?

I have beard envy. Forget penis envy, which I think is a crock of manure anyway. Only men would think a woman would want a penis. Why would we want something that rules our lives like that? Something not particularly beautiful and so obvious when aroused? No thanks. But I do envy big, full, bushy beards. I also wish I could grow a handle bar mustache. My soon-to-be-ex husband and I made a list of things we wanted to change/get done in our house about a year ago, and on my list I put that he needed to grow a handle bar mustache that he could wax the ends of. I even drew a picture of him with it. He grows the best facial hair and I loved it when he would grow out a full beard and look like a mountain man that rarely ventures out of his shack in the woods. He wears a goatee, so growing a handle bar mustache would have been nothing for him. I even offered to buy the wax needed and help him curl the ends just right. He was not interested. He thought a handle bar mustache would make him look creepy and like a child molester. But he did enjoy the picture I had drawn of him with a handle bar mustache but that was as close to one as he would get.

So to sum up my usual long-winded-ness, I can't see sh*t and I would love to grow some fancy mustachios. I also enjoy that it is not girly, even though some days I am girly and foo foo --because deep inside I am not a girly type girl. So there is my story of why I call myself Blindbeard and why I love that name so much. I would love to hear the stories of how you came about some of your names; I am very curious about the origins of some of them, they being very creative and original.

10 comments:

Jen said...

Hi, my name is Jen, and my parents had no foresight when the rest of the child-bearing population was also naming their daughters "Jen."

Bill's a hairy Italian mafioso who grows a good beard and 'stache. He was being served by liquor stores and bars when he was 17. He looks about 45 whereas I look about 25 (childish face.) We're both 37.

I figured the "Blindbeard" name had something to do with MS vision.

LISA EMRICH said...

Hi, my name is Lisa. I wasn't allowed to leave the hospital until my parents came up with something. My middle name is the same as my mother's which she got from the location of her birth.

Real exciting, huh?

I figured the Blind part had something to do with ON, but I always wondered about the piratesque or aristocracy notions. Blindbeard, Bluebeard, Blueblood, Richard the Lion-Hearted. You get the idea.

Thank you for explaining.

Brass and Ivory comes from my music life. I play and teach french horn (brass) and piano (ivory). Sometimes I'd like to think it represents beauty and strength.

Anyway, I like Blindbeard.

Jen said...

Arrrggg! Me name is Blindbeard.....I hear some swashbuckler has stolen me identity! When I find this rouge soul, I'll string 'em up and fly 'em from me ship's flagpost....Arrrgggg!

Jen said...
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Jen said...
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Jen said...

The pirate Blindbeard had some trouble getting off this page and accidentally sent this post in triplicate. Please only read once and disregard the two repeats. He gruffly send his apologies:"Arrrggg!"

Denver Refashionista said...

My name is Nadja Yse Tizer (Stringer). Nadja means hope in Russian and I actually posted a bit about my personal google search a while back. Yse (pronounced eyes) came from my dad and my brother has the name too.

Denver Refashionista came from my other blog where I post pictures of clothes I have refashioned and try to sell them to help the environment and to raise awareness. "Denver" is because I live in Denver Colorado.

Shauna said...

Bugs, bikes , and brains comes from my three main hobbies: entymology, bike riding, and neurology. I have other interests and hobbies as well, but only so much time to blog about 'em....

S.

BRAINCHEESE said...

Hmmm..."BrainCheese" seems way so obvious where that comes from. And besides, Fat A$$ was already taken.

(BTW, I have the SpongeBob theme song as my ring tone on my cell phone...I am truly AMAZED at how many people are annoyed by it?!?)

Linda D. in Seattle

kleck said...

I'm so excited to have found your blog. The few posts I read made me smile. I will continue to check your blog out. Thanks!