Monday, August 11, 2008

Everyone Has A Right To My Opinion

I am not a discriminatory person by nature and this disease has made me even less so -- having been discriminated against made me take a solemn vow to never ever discriminate against anyone for any reason. I don't mind anyone else's opinion, however contrary to my own. I don't mind people disagreeing with how I handle this disease, the things I talk about or the fact that I will only use assistive devices that have been spruced up so they don't look so daunting. I don't ever want to fit the public's stereotype for a person with MS -- I saw something on the news about MS recently and they showed a random person with MS getting help getting out of his wheelchair and assistance walking like it was the norm for people with MS. I don't even mind if you don't like my personal appearance, which makes me think of something that used to really irritate me. I have short hair. It is just a fact. I cut my hair off at 19 and have never regretted it. I don't mind others' long hair, I just do not grow luxurious locks. I grow something akin to the hair on a camel's butt -- coarse, unruly, unmanageable. Short hair is easier to let do its own thing. It doesn't matter that I have 57 cowlicks all conflicting with each other, or that I have a natural wave that makes it almost impossible to keep my hair down. I let it do its own thing and gave up trying to tame it long ago. Many years ago, when I was still single, I was with my roommate at a bar; she was drunk and having a rip snortin' time so I just sat back and watched the clock, willing it to move faster so I could go home and go to bed. A guy came up to me and flatly told me that he didn't like girls with short hair. I don't know what response he wanted, but I just as flatly told him I didn't like guys with small dicks. He actually hung around me the rest of the night and kept talking long after I stopped responding. I don't know if he was trying to make me start growing my hair out or what, but I was not interested in changing myself for anyone. I would see him out from time to time and he always wanted to talk to me, but I would never utter even a grunt to anything he said. I ignored him so completely, it shocked me he kept trying to talk to me. I have some pictures from a bachelorette party and he is sitting near me, looking at me and I am turned away talking to someone else. As far as stupid obtuseness goes, he is the best example I have ever seen.

So what was the point of that story? I'm not sure. Best I can figure out is that I come on here to offer my point of view and I enjoy others' opinions. I never expected this blog to really go anywhere, I just wanted a place where I could speak my mind. I know everyone is not like me. Some people want to be serious about MS and never laugh at the more ridiculous things about it. I run into that a lot. When I said I wanted a T-shirt that said (on the front) "Let MS get" (on the back) "UP YOURS!" most of the group laughed, a few people had looks of shocked horror that I could be so irreverent about MS. After being diagnosed (and to this day) I only wanted to talk about the realities of having MS -- but nobody wanted to talk about that. I wanted to know if some things were normal or not; and I was surprised by how many MSers were not very informed. At one walk a guy who had MS for over 20 years and was in a wheelchair, would not believe me that higher doses of interferons put one at a higher risk for depression. When the Rebif lady came over he asked her, in a tone of voice like it was the silliest thing he had ever heard. She admitted I was right and he wheeled his pompous ass away from me as fast as he could. So I guess I am saying that it is nice to be able to say my piece and have it appreciated. Sorry it took me so long to get to the point, sometimes I just got lots to say.


Denver Refashionista said...

You should look me up if you are ever in Denver. We are so on the same page. I hate BS, shallow small talk and simple niceties. I like to get to the point and say it how it is. I also like to keep an honest blog but of course while I was on steriods I was dumb and I gave my blog address to my whole family and all my co-workers. So I can be honest but only if I stick to non-work topics. Oh well...
BTW, I think you look hot with short hair.


And I am always anxiously standing by to hear what "you's gots to say"!

Linda D. in Seattle

Unknown said...

I, too, once had a guy sit next to me in a bar while I was waiting for some friends. He thought it his duty to tell me that he didn't like women with short hair (and mine was buzz cut short at the time). I told him I was lucky to even have hair after 6 months of chemo. He buggered off then.

Some people feel it is their duty to give you their opinion whether you wanted it or not. If I wanted their opinion I'd be reading it on their blogs or books or newspaper editorials, thank you very much.

I'm with DR and Linda on this one.