My Eye!

I'm no doctor but I think I can safely say that my left eye socket has been lined with broken glass. Also, the nerves in my legs have tied themselves into knots. They just want to kick and cramp, which seems very knot-like to me. I know, I know, my gift at diagnosing should be shared with the world, but sadly I am far to busy wondering what flatfoot put this glass in my eye socket to be helping others with their ailments. Come to think of it, my little sister said her right eye was killing her and she thought the glass idea summed it up pretty well, so maybe it is an alien abduction that we have here... I'll have to ask her if she saw any green men last night.

*Update: Even though my little sister lives in a small town surrounded by cornfields, which we all know makes aliens want to come and leave circles, she said she saw no green men, strange lights or flatfoots around, and she should know because she did not get home until almost 12am.