Are You Stiff?

Because I am, and no, you pervert, I am not talking about anything naughty here (well, maybe, but it is a funny memory from high school; I'm sure Tilly will remember.). I must not move much at night because I wake up with as much flexibility as a steel beam. This morning Princess and I woke up late--7 am. She came in and shook me and said, "We slept late!" all panicked
because I usually get up about 2 hours earlier than that, but I just could not get to sleep last night. I was hot but without the covers it was too cold, my husband was over the line and crowding me, panting all over my pillows and heating up my side, my book was so good I didn't want to put it down, I had one nostril stuffed up and could get a good nose whistle going if I breathed just right so I amused myself with piping out tunes. Ugh, you get the point. Then when I did fall asleep I had stupid and disturbing dreams, and I obviously did not move enough (even though I had to pee about 10,000 times last night) because this morning one arm was asleep and I was walking like Frankenstein in desperate need of coffee. One of these mornings I am going to seriously hurt myself because what does not bend breaks, but until then I can always amuse myself by loudly asking my husband, "ARE YOU STIFF?!" because that is a funny memory.