There is only one person in this world who's advice I will take without seeking a second opinion: My Mommy's. She is truly the most selfless person I know. She has too much compassion and will give even when nobody else thinks she should have. Growing up, she always gave as much to the church as she could afford without putting us in the poor house and when we would complain and say that she could have bought us ______ instead, she was nonplussed and said she would rather give to God than us. Even though we were broke, she would still give to people who were struggling because she said that we were not starving and so-and-so needed it more. A lot of the time she would give it in a money order so they would not know who had done it. A true example of a Christian if ever there was one. (How she wound up with 3 heathens who avoid church like they avoid poisonous spiders is a mystery.)
She was here for Mother's Day and I made her a bouquet of flowers out of my hand prints. Princess and Jabber were making some for their mom, so I made some for my mom, even though I'm an adult and my hand prints are not as cute. She gave me a bunch of advice that was unwanted and unasked for, but gave it all the same. She knows that I am the epitome of the cliche, "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink," yet she plowed on anyway, no pun intended. Her advice? Let me tell you all about it:
You need to get out of the house more.
I pondered this and decided that she is right. I have taken up my old hobby of driving around on back country roads looking for old abandoned houses to photograph. Yesterday I decided to lose myself on some gravel roads and put together my trusty Survival Kit: a camera, a flashlight, my atlas that breaks down this state to every last piddly back road, a pencil to mark where I have been, where I found houses and where I want to head to next, and a tasty beverage to whet my thirst after I inhale all that dust. While I was casting my peepers over the terrain looking for old houses, Sugarbowl called to see where and what I was doing. I told her that I was taking our mother's advice and getting out of the house. She told me that I am a brainless wonder and that it is amazing I can still function because we both know that my mom meant that I should socialize more and I am just playing dumb. I look at this as baby steps. I need to get back to the joys of my life and slowly work my way back to socializing. And I don't take Sugarbowl's advice without a second opinion, and that second opinion is my own, so she was overruled.
You need to find a support group.
Those are words that will give me nightmares every time I hear them. She read about a local support group for younger people with MS and thought I needed to join them post haste. That's all great and everything, but their name has the word "optimistic" in it and I cannot possibly be a part of anything that calls itself "optimistic." How could I stalk into a group that wants to look on the bright side of having MS when I see no bright side, steal their refreshments and stalk back out? They would come after me with pitchforks and torches, take back their half eaten refreshments, and get a retraining order against me, so let's just skip all that fun. I will stay home and think unoptimistic thoughts about MS and everyone will be happier that way.
You need to think about getting out there and dating again.
EEEK! She said that I have been separated from my ex hubby for a year now and it is time for me to stop hiding from the opposite sex and maybe start going out to dinner with some suitors -- as if I had any, but I'm flattered that she would think I do. The craziest part of all this is that she didn't date for 4 years after she and my father divorced. 4 Years!! But in her defense she was working full time, going to school full time and trying to keep everything together while raising 3 kids. I don't work, don't go to school, am only helping raise my one niece and the gods know that I have PLENTY of time. Because she is very old school (no sex before marriage and all that 50's mentality) I had to really consider this piece of advice. I know she would not say this lightly so it makes me think that maybe, maybe I need to take her advice on this matter. But it is so scary to think of putting myself back on the market when I feel like such damaged goods.
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4 comments:
Mom's are always filled with great advice aren't they?? I wonder if we actually FOLLOWED more of that advice what we'd be like? Pop onto my Blog. I have something for you there. :)
Hee, by your description of your youth I can understand why you are a self-proclaimed heathen.
Also, re: Mom's second bit of advice - The only reason I would go to a group with (probably spelled) optiMiStic in its name would be TO eat the refreshments!
"...and get a retraining order against me,"
Now you made me spew and giggle on that one. hehe.
Don't know what to tell ya about the dating thing. Last year was definitely too soon (in my humblest, non-prude opinion). But this is 2009 baby and maybe the time's right.
Do you think that your Mom has some lovely male divorcee's from church willing to do the dinner thing?
Yay for driving around, that's fun stuff. But I don't know which is scarier: dating or support groups?
Holy crap! What if you ended up dating someone FROM the support group?! Eek!
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