Thursday, August 28, 2008

Plan B

*Author's Note: Wow. I have been in a foul mood the last few days and this blog shows it. I was interrupted while writing it, but am going to leave it as it is. We all have days where a black cloud hovers over our heads, and in the true Blindbeard spirit, I am going to post this and let the chips fall where they may. I have to admit that I rather enjoy those days from time to time. It feels good to be crabby once in awhile and vent the negativity the builds up in me. So without further ado, here is my blog.

Due to the fact that the employees of the SSA were all dropped on their heads as babies and forced to eat paint chips, I have had to come up with a back-up plan for when I can no longer afford to be alive -- and that day is looming. Besides my brilliant plan for filing a lawsuit against the SSA for ruining peoples' lives by dragging out the process and forcing people into poverty, I have come up with another way for me to survive. I pondered and pondered what I could do. I found out early on that I can get no public assistance (it was a dark day when I had to go see if I could get any help) because I have no children and the government has not declared me disabled yet. The requirements for public assistance, where I live, are that you need to fall below a certain income level, have kids and have been in this country for at least 90 days. I paid into the system for more than 15 years and I can get no help. Those who never paid into the system can squeeze out a kid, be here for at least 90 days and get money handed to them. Where is the justice in the "Justice System?!" But that is a different post; I want to talk about my Plan B, because it is inspired and pure genius!

I finally came up with the solution to my money problems. Where can a citizen of the good ol' U. S. of A. get the best medical care and decent representation? There are only 2 places that I know of, and I am considering both. First, is jail. I have been trying to think of an offense that would get me enough time in jail to get caught up on medical bills, while taking care of the ones I would need while in there, and get me a lawyer so I can have a voice. I do not want any violent crime or anything that would put me away for good, so this is a tough one. I would also need a tin cup because the whole time I am in there I intend to rattle the bars and loudly protest against the system that forced me to become a degenerate. I am enjoying the idea of sleeping all day, reading as much as I please, and b*tching so much they want to get rid of me. I want to stand before a judge and tell him/her exactly why I did what I did and offer no apologies. The biggest problem is what I could do to get there. I would appreciate any and all ideas for this. It cannot hurt another person in any way, yet still guarantee at least 30 days. My mom said they would take my tin cup from me, but I am prepared to take the fillings out of my teeth to fashion a new one if need be.

My second idea is going back to the psych ward. While in the psych ward I got a free MRI (to see if I had any lesions in the frontal lobes that could have caused my craziness), free meds (except Copaxone, they had never heard of it and couldn't order it quick enough for the short time I was there so I used my own from home) that they played around with the dosages of, and free bed and breakfast. I am not dying (HA! Get it?!) to go back there. They put me on Zyprexa (is that the correct word and spelling? I can't remember), which is an anti-psychotic med that increases unsteadiness and dizziness -- not the wisest choice for someone with MS. That only lasted 2 days because the neurologist came in (I chose a bad day to go crazy, right before the weekend so I was at the mercy of less-informed medical personal) and said that I was not psychotic, I was only suffering from a mood disorder secondary to MS. When they admitted me, they stripped me of EVERYTHING and made me enter the ward and do the admittance interview in a hospital gown; they even made me go in in a wheelchair, I was not even allowed to walk in by myself. They took my wedding band and my bra -- those are the two things that offend me the most. What am I going to do to myself with my wedding band? Scratch myself to death with the diamond? And my bra? Hang myself with it? Smother myself in the cups? Use it to start a ladder to escape their clutches? We were on the top floor of the hospital and only given one blanket; my bra could not have done much harm or made much of a ladder. And when I finally left, I was shackled and escorted by 2 sheriffs to my hearing in front of the mental health board. What did they think I was going to do, limp away from them? Go crazy and try to scratch them with my wedding band or strangle them with my bra? I do not want to go back, especially as I have a deep fear of them trying to keep me this time. I don't want to go back to the land of lukewarm showers and edible deodorant, which I was the only one who used, judging by the stench of my fellow crazies. You could eat the whole tube of toothpaste they gave you and the deodorant and maybe get indigestion. Maybe. The heat was way too hot for me so I draped myself over the furniture with little energy. I wanted a room to myself to keep cold, but no such luck. I shared with a woman with no top teeth -- which reminded me of a goat -- who was always cold and forever turning up the heat. She hated the group home she was in, so she drank bleach to get out of there. DRANK BLEACH! That blows my mind, and as much as she could get on my nerves by forever chattering, I had to give her my respect for being able to do such a thing. She was thrilled when her mom and boyfriend broke up because she wanted him to be her boyfriend so they could have another kid together. I just can't relate to that. It makes me sick, but she drank bleach so I let it go.


Jen said...


The ataxia ride through hell is getting really rough. I think I need a stronger seat belt. My head keeps hitting the roof...Seriously: I've been in carrening taxis on Manhattan's West Side Highway, so I've got a strong stomach.

The goal is to get a disability lawyer to appeal your appeal. I believe that is still possible (They did send you a written decline? The appeal info should be in there somewhere.) No disability lawyer, worth his or her salt, should precharge you. There are too many legit ones out there that will wait until they win your case, then take a % of your backpay.

The lawyer will take on your case if they believe they can win. They won't waste time with a losing case. And you have an excellent case to appeal, so someone should take it. Ask your MS Society for referrals.

If you win your case with a lawyer, you are still able to earn a bit on top of the disability (thankfully, because the pay isn't always so great, depending on how long you worked.) I get a modest check now, since I wasn't out in the workforce for a long time, but it offsets our ridiculous health insurance premiums.

The key is to act quickly, because (I'm not 100% sure) there is a window of time to make the appeal.

Hang in there. And if you have started the appeal process already, then you are one righteous, happenin' bi-otch! Ha ha...Peace out.....


I think I did my psych nursing training on that very WARD you are referencing in Nebraska! (I'm soooo not kidding here)


I had a "friend" in Texas who, in a drunken fit, set a business on fire (X's business) and went to state prison for arson. Once out, she couldn't get a real job (cleaned houses for a living...without lighting any on fire, I might add!), which meant no health benefits. She once told me if diagnosed with a bad disease/cancer, she would commit the above crime for medical benefits in prison. Why?

Because she would be sent to FEDERAL PRISON versus STATE PRISON where the grass is greener and the healthcare is excellent!!!

Just a thought...of course, when asked, you NEVER got the idea from me. ;-)

Linda D. in Seattle

Denver Refashionista said...

Watch out for the thought police and the patriot act. Or, keep discussing a crime and maybe they will come and take you away and then you can go to jail.

Your an attractive lass with access to the internet. Maybe jail is not the way...

Kimberly said...

I can completely relate to your frustrations. I think we call can. trust me you DON'T want to go to jail. With our luck you'd get in front of someone having a bad day who would be completely unsympathetic and just kick you out on the street. Then you'd have a record and still no help. I wish there was an easier way for us to get the help we need. It's frustrating and unfair. Sadly, it's also a political issue which is WHY it's the way it is. What you need to do is contact a snall local paper. Contact the reporter for your local news that covers human interest stories. See if you can get them to at least hear your story. (Talk about necoming an MS Activist!). Seriously write letters to all your local, and state elected officials (actually you just need to come up with a form letter and change just a few things to send it to each person). You articulate very well and are a powerful writer. Get your keyboard moving and send letters out to the editor of your paper etc. TELL YOUR STORY!

Anonymous said...

I remember hearing years ago that "conspiring" to kill a bald eagle is a felony. So you don't have to actually do anything just make plans.

Hope you can find a better answer though.

Unknown said...

A minor drug bust would be good. No heavy drugs just some pot. Jail is better than the psych ward and you can get tons of drugs in jail if you need them.

Nikki said...

IF you are still working on a plan to get "free help" in the form of prison..I can offer a suggestion. As a former correctional officer,I can say the answer simple...robbery. Any kind, liquor store, grocery store, bank..all you have to do is hand the person behind the desk a note telling them to hand over the cash, and pretend you have a gun. You don't have to hurt anyone and depending on the state/town you are in, you are guranteed 60-90 days for first Now keep in mind that chicks in jail ARE nuttier than guys in be prepared to deal with that..however..everything else is simple.

good luck and let us