Friday, June 27, 2008

*Side Note*

Browsing through my comments, I could not ignore the first anonymous comment on my last post. Normally I never pay attention to others' negative opinions (I know my humor and point of view are not every one's cup of tea) but I am thick skinned and I don't want anyone to read that comment and feel bad about themselves because of it. Our healing processes are as varied as this disease is. That commenter has had MS for longer than I have been alive, and if, god(s) willing, I live with MS for that long I hope I will (never) give such sage advice. I respect every one's right to have an opinion. I respect every one's right to heal in their own way in their own time. I also respect my own right to keep to myself what I do for others and in what ways, if any, I give back -- I have a bad reputation to uphold here. One of the most damaging things for me after being diagnosed was such misguided advice as that comment was. It made me feel even worse that I hadn't come to terms with MS yet. Never let anyone ever for ever and ever and never for ever tell you how you should feel EVER. Let nature take its course and don't force what is unnatural. And if you get any detrimental advice, advise them to stick their advice... on their pillow so they can cuddle with it all night; I have found that a great place to store unsolicited advice. I am going to assume they meant well (they caught me in a good mood -- there was no diet ice cream left, only regular. "Oh darn! Guess I'll have to eat it anyway!") but adding guilt to this disease is making the burden too much. I had a stay in the loony bin and the scars on my wrists to prove it... but that will be my next post. Until then may your freezers overflow with full fat and calories (which we all know means full flavor) ice cream and keep healing in your own way. XOXO Blindbeard


Lisa Emrich said...

Wow. I'm glad you commented on this comment otherwise it may have missed (shush - secret here - I don't comment on everything I read...crazy I know). But I feel compelled in this tiny instance.

"Stop being obsessed with yourself and find some way to give to others even if it is only a positive attitude."

It's your blog to express what you desire...and I believe that you were just getting into sharing your story of healing. That's a pretty positive thing in my book, even when done with sharp, jagged edges.

"I've had MS for 35 years, am still active in the entertainment industry. I want to be remembered as a warrior in life, not a quitter who hides."

Well, that's great that this anonymous person still serves in entertainment. I wonder if he/she is out there being a vocal role model for those of us less aged in our post-MS lives. And to imply that you are a 'quitter who hides' in comparison to his/her warriorness, while maintaining anonymity.

And then to find out that I'm that much older than you...booooh.

Lisa Emrich said...

P.S. I saw where someone from MSfocus wants you to write an article for them. Cool.


Amen, sista Blindbeard...amen!

Linda D. in Seattle

Jo Franz said...

I don't feel you're hiding. I think you're grieving, which is absolutely normal and healthy, bless your heart!

I have had MS for going on 32 years and went through similar feelings. If you're interested, check out my memoir at my website There is also a long interactive posting on my Article page from the National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week of last September you might find interesting.

May you be encouraged in the journey--I've had times of grieving throughout the years, so don't feel badly!

A friend with MS,
Jo Franz