For my next few posts I want to address some issues that I had when trying to come to terms with having MS. They are not pretty, yet I cannot believe that I am the only one who went through some of these ugly stages. And in true Blindbeard form, I am willing to talk about the stuff others (sometimes that includes family and friends) don't want to admit to or talk about. I went through some stages that were totally out of character for me, against my basic beliefs and those of society in general. But I refuse to be ashamed of how I coped or the things I did, I would rather look at them in context and realize that they may be a natural way for me to deal with the anger/depression/sadness that came with this disease. Consider yourself warned, and if nothing else I hope a few people can relate and hopefully get rid of any guilt they may be carrying around for the things they did at one of the hardest times in their life. Its funny how we are so much quicker to forgive others instead of ourselves, willing to look at the reasons they acted in a certain way, yet not give that same consideration to our self. There is no shame in my game, as you will soon see!