Saturday, June 7, 2008

Gag Me With A Spoon

I must be a glutton for punishment; there is just no other good explanation for it. Every now and then I venture out of my dark hole to mingle with other MSers and it has never failed to irritate the shitakii out of me. I don't know why I do it. I think I am still holding out hope that I will find someone like me, someone who isn't pooping out rainbows and unicorns over having MS. Since being diagnosed with MS, some 3.5 years ago, I have only wanted to talk to some one about MS and all its implications realistically. Alas, my search continues. It seems that all I find are those who want to make it seem better than it is and sweep all the bad under the rug, which I can't help but think that must be one big rug. I'm not saying it is all horrible, or that it is the worst thing in the world, but why can't we talk about the negative once in awhile? I want to talk to those who have hideous, overwhelming depression that requires large amount of antidepressants, like me. Or those whose MS has been so aggressive that they have hardly had a chance to take a breath between attacks and have never recovered fully from any attack. Where are those whose life as they knew it was ripped away and they are still trying to piece together a life out of the tattered remains? I want to mingle with those who are willing to cancel that mattress order because we are not going to take this lying down. I want to do the things that I am not supposed to do; blow the lid off of anyone's assumptions about what a person with MS is supposed to be and be the opposite of what they expect. I don't want to link arms and sing Kumbaya. I want to sing, "I hate everything about you" with like-minded MSers. Being a true child of the 80's, it makes me want to spout off a bunch of uncool quips from that golden era, hence the name of this post. The only good thing about all this is that it fires me up and reminds me to keep up the good fight and continue not being what people think of when they think of MS. Now I must go gimp through some stores and tell the people who ask what I did to my leg that I have explosive diarrhea and if I don't lean to one side I'll sh*t my pants. Hope your day is as good as mine promises to be.



Not everything is all rainbows and puppydogs. I'm with you in the depression department. Even with copious amounts of antidepressants, at one point even above the upper limit of the FDA approved dosing, I still struggle frequently, almost daily. Like, for sure.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you don't think you've found a kindred spirit in the MS community. I am not one of those sunshine and rainbows people - it's not my nature. I am not one of those people who complains every day to people who don't give a crap. I only to that with people who care about me.

I pick my people, poisons, and potions to suit who I am when I wake up in the morning. And if the people who live around me can't accept that, then there's the door.

Fortunately, I do have a husband who has been with me since diagnosis 33 years ago and two grown sons (26 & 24) who still depend on me alot because they are special needs and don't want to exactly trade me in for a new model. yet.

When I am surrounded by people who are sweetness and light and if I am not of like mind, I hit the road.

MS is a rotten disease. It is unpredictable and that means "I" am unpredictable each and every single day. As you may be too.

There are over 115 MSer blogs in our little community and I've been lurking here awhile without commenting. Please feel free to browse among us.

I promise you will not find all sweetness, light, sunshine and rainbows. We all come with warts and are not afraid to talk about them on our blogs.

My topic lately is Depression. You will find links on my blog and those blogs will take you further into the community.

Please bookmark them and come back often. Anne


Welcome to MY world...LOL

Linda D. in Seattle

patrickm said...

A realistic cross section of the entire spectrum. I find it very useful and a great place to vent when I need to.

Taxingwoman said...

I just came across your blog. I like it
I'm so with you about this rainbows and unicorns crap. I am always made to feel like I don't have the right to complain ,that I must always look on the bright side etc. etc. I get that from my friends and family ,so I thought maybe blogging I might be able to vent. Seems like when I do that I'm made to feel selfish. I get annoyed when I'm writing that I feel like I have to hold back my negative comments.
Yeah I have good days but I have lots of lousy miserable days too.
I don't see what's wrong with talking about it.