How Do I Love Thee?

With Princess and Sugarbowl no longer living with me, I feel like my creative juices done dried up. Don't get me wrong, Acorn can crack out some hot ones, but Sugarbowl and I have been playing off each others wit for almost 32 years now, so we have perfected our most hilarious (to us) jokes. Sadly, not everyone -- Princess -- appreciates our witty ways. One time, while we were waiting for Princess to finish basketball practice, which is always fun because she lollagags and takes her sweet time about it, we made a list of things about her that annoyed us. It was born from our extreme irritation with waiting for her to come out after basketball practice when she was in there messing around knowing full well that we were sitting out in the car, in the middle of winter, waiting for her. And I don't mean just practicing longer, I mean truly messing around. Like, "we were turning our jerseys inside out and walking backwards! It was soooo funny! Then we took off one shoe and hopped on one leg! Ha ha ha!" All this for 10-15 minutes while we are waiting in the car. It gets a little annoying, to say the very least. So we made this list of things that annoyed us about her, nothing really mean, just things like "she never put out a solo record" and such. The list we made has been lost, but recently, going through our crap getting ready to move, I found the list she made about the things that she doesn't like about us. I am going to put it on here, with all misspellings intact, because it is too good to be lost. She is growing up to be just like her mom and aunt (wiping a tear from my eye), whether she wants to be like us or not.


Reasons I Hate Mom And [Blindbeard]

1. They are butt heads

2. They never forget anything

3.They change a story and think its twice as hilarious as the first time

4. [Blindbeard] steals my animals

5. They rename my animals gay nicknames

6. They snikker alot

7. Mom is always pooping

8. They make fun of me

9. They repeat quotes that weren't funny the first time and make them even less funny

10. You cannot have 2 seconds peace

(crossed out)11. They're borying

11. They agree with each other and not me

12. They don't listen to me


I have been reading this list to everyone and laughing over it. Princess still agrees with everything on there. Maybe my memory has faded over the last few months, but is her mom always pooping? I don't remember her always being on the toilet, but Princess still stands by that list, so I guess Sugarbowl is always pinching loaves.