Duck And Cover

Every time my little sister and I fight everyone else ducks and covers and is glad it isn't them she is fighting with. Blessed with a vicious temper when angry and the propensity to say horrible, hurtful things when mad, no one wants to tangle with her. Being the older sister and having a thick skin, I will take her on and have zero tolerance for her ill temper. Sometimes I think I am the only one she will listen to, and she even admitted (when we were not fighting) that she values my opinions whether she agrees or not and will listen to what I have to say over what anyone else has to say. When she was still married to her ex husband and I would call when she was mad at everyone in her house, they would still give her the phone. It didn't matter if she was trying to sleep off her anger, they would still run to give her the phone, tell her it was me, and run away before her anger could remove their spinal cords for having the audacity to speak to her. She and I have been fighting for 30 years now and have it down to a science. We argue and bicker, stomp off mad, then check to see if the other is done being a female dog, and go do something together. Her men seem to always be the submissive sort. I opined that anyone with a backbone would not take her crap for long and she opined that I am an ass master who needs to shut her flapping meat curtains, then we tried to make a batch of egg nog that was not so high in calories.

Right now she is in a BAD mood and thinks she is depressed and that is why she is vomiting split pea soup -- Exorcist style -- all over the rest of us. Her bf/f and Princess are trying to keep out of her way and "yes ma'am-ing, no ma'am-ing" her depending on what they think she wants to hear. I know better than that. Giving in to her foul moods does her no service. She needs someone to stand up to her and not take that sh*t from her and as no one else will do it, it falls to me to take her wrath and be covered in split pea soup. I would feel bad for her being depressed if my life was better than hers. But its not. As far as I can tell, what does she have to be so depressed about? She has a job so she gets some social interaction. Said job gives her an income, which I don't have. She isn't the maid to 3 slovenly pigs, that job fell to me because no one else will do it. She has a man that thinks she's the bee's knees, and no one (and I mean no one) thinks I'm the bee's knees because I'm not. She gets to come home to a clean house, meals made already, and everything kept going while she was gone. No, I have no compassion for her "depression." I know everyone has problems in their lives, MSers don't have the corner on that market, but she is boo hooing to the wrong person. Maybe if I didn't have to pick her hairballs out of the shower drain I would be more sympathetic... or maybe not.

Last night we were fighting over who was fatter. She outweighs me by over 30lbs, yet still claims I look fatter. I told her I only looked fatter because she can't see her own ass and I got T.P. with dimples on it to match her hind quarters. From there is disintegrated into a bunch of name calling that went no where until she wanted me to taste the egg nog and see what I thought. I will gladly take her wrath over the other occupants of this house. It doesn't bother me like it does them, with their heads hanging and trying to avoid eye contact with her. I told her we were going to go rounds soon if she didn't knock it off, and she knows I mean it. She doesn't want me to start putting those hairballs from the drain on her side of the bed, so that helps slow the word diarrhea from her mouth a tiny bit.