Friday, December 17, 2010

Why Am I So Slumpy?

I just can't shake the slumps right now. Is it holiday non-cheer? I do tend to get that a lot, especially when thinking of all the things to do to make it a good holiday for others. Is it the nagging feeling that I keep churning out rugs and forcing them onto people and then suspect that they may not really want them are are just being nice? That's silly! When have I ever cared what others think? They will take my rugs and keep being nice because I have no intentions of stopping until we can all play the Princess and the Pea on piles of rugs instead of mattresses. Maybe it's MS related slumps. Just when you think you are coming to terms with this disease, it pulls out something nasty to remind you why it is so hard to accept it. And am I the only one who gets worse in the winter? It seems most of my attacks have been in the winter, and my symptoms get worse in the winter months, too. My TN first kicked up in January a few Januarys back, and now I dread January 'cause I don't want my TN to get any worse. My hug first started in March, and now March is a worrisome month for me. I don't want my hug to get any worse -- even though some days that is hard to imagine, but MS has a very creative mind and can be very devious. It is best not to underestimate its diabolical-ness. Maybe it's because I can't get any sleep yet am still dead tired all the time. Oh, MS, why must you be such a devoted minion to Satan? I've been up for longer than I care to admit. I was falling asleep on the couch last night, so I figured I would get a good night's sleep. I had taken a muscle relaxer because my hug wanted to snuggle, so sleep and I should have skipped hand in hand for 8 hours at least. Har dee har HAR! I turned off my light at 9:30 and woke up at 2:30 am. In those few hours, my bed turned into a slab of concrete that made me ponder getting a pile of rugs to sleep on. Even with a pea hidden in them, they would have been more comfortable. I forced myself to lay there until 3:30 -- my new 4 am, which used to be the earliest I would get out of bed -- then bitterly raised the white flag.

The day is yawning open in front of me with the promise of nothing to do to make time move along, little doggies. Sure, there is plenty I could/should do, but who wants to do any of that? Not me, that's for sure. I'm far too slumpy to find any interest in anything. That's not 100% true. I do have a deep interest in Mystery Science Theater 3000 right now. If anything can help the slumps, it is that show. It is the only thing I have found that gives me any relief, and with so few side effects, too. Sore cheeks and chest muscles from laughing are a small price to pay for the slumps to recede for a bit.


Lisa Emrich said...

Oh dear, you've just written half of what's going on with me too. I just feel like going ...... ARGH!! lately. Spasticity has come back and even chosen a new muscle tease. It was this exact same time (week before Christmas) that nasty spasticity came to visit in the first place.

I'm tired of this disease. And I'm even a highly functioning MSer. Sure, there's no endurance in these buzzy/numb legs. Sure I can't tell which direction my doctor pushes my toes. Sure she doesn't even ask me to close my eyes anymore when I stand with my feet together.

I was thinking of writing about these arghs and my general blahs right now, but that wouldn't be very cheerful for the holiday season. This is the hardest month of the year, MS or not. Blech.

OK, so I'm just going on and on. I hope that the hug stays away. And, may you find some sleep. At least it is probably nice and quiet at 3:30am. Good time to surf the web or write honest posts.

Anyway, I hope that you survive the season and MS takes a winter holiday. XOXOX

MS Day Dreamer said...

no i think the winter is my worst. If it is hot, i go in cool off, and problem solved. Cold, no, I go in but can't get warm. The cold effects me much worse than hot.
I'm even ok taking hot showers or enjoy our hot tub. The cold however, that I can't deal with. Even getting in the hot tub right now is problematic because it is so cold outside. if I step barefooted onto the deck to get in or out of the tub, it can start a, umm i don't know what to call it, but it gets the nerves in my feet & legs going and it isn't pleasant. I normally have my feet tingling. I say numb but i have feeling... it is more like super sensitivity than lack there-of.
The cold definitely sets that off.

Jen said...

All right, Silly---

Come play poker with me on FB. That ALWAYS calms my nerves....I sent you an invite.

I honestly have to admit that I'm doing fairly well. I'm happy and things are moving forward. So there's always a tug between the past and the present. I think a lot of MSers want to break out of this rut when they feel well. It's like Woody Allen (or something along these lines): "I'd never want to belong to a club who'd have me as a member." No one wants to be in the MS club when things are going well. However, it sneaks up and whispers its message," I am a part of you, so DON'T EVER FORGET." So a balance of accepting and not denying.

Girl: keep doin' what you're doin'. And I'll get Lisa to come with me on a roadtrip to visit you. SOON. I think we'd have too much fun with the "medicinal" ganja. LMAO ('cause it HELPS.)Summer, maybe??

Love you,