Sunday, August 23, 2009

Status Report

Due to a raging infestation of Facebook on my brain, I have been neglecting my poor blog. (Damn you, Facebook, why do you suck up so much of my time and short attention span?) Millions of people struggle with Facebook addiction, this is one of their stories. Dear Blindbeard, I have seen your addiction to Facebook negatively effect you in the following ways:

You no longer do your chores in a timely manner. Because you cannot step away from the Facebook, the cat boxes are not as fresh as they used to be. You have let yourself slack in a way that the old you would never have done.

You "over share" too much. Because of that diabolical "What's On Your Mind?" you have fallen into the trap of giving status reports that no one cares about, not even yourself. Is it really that important to let everyone know that your nap was total crap, or that you are going to run errands all day? How could you let yourself go like that? Where is your pride, woman?

You have lowered yourself to fighting with Princess over the laptop and over who can get the highest scores on games. Why do you feel that you must try to beat her scores when before this addiction you were content to let her bask in her pseudo-superiority? You would never have done this before Facebook took over your life.

You have encouraged Princess to use Facebook and wreak havoc on her mother's farm, all because this addiction has changed your morals. You would never have endangered a child's psyche before this hideous problem took over.

Please accept this kind offer for help today and find yourself again. Or at least do your chores first before attacking Facebook to see what others' thought of their naps and whether they are going to go with the thong or brief undies.

Love, Blindbeard & Family


Jen said...

I think I might actually START a farm (FarmVille?) on FB. There's a quaint little honky-tonk song that plays in the background.

Diane J Standiford said...

I feel your pain, Face book is sucking the life out of my MS Blog! I haven't time to research or write the way I used to. I am growing ashamed of my blog. Twitter takes the wind out of om sails too. My blog is adrift. THIS STOPS NOW. (Tho I think I challenged Jen to a poker game...or somebody...most "friends" I don't even KNOW.)

Denver Refashionista said...

Sometimes the internet seems like a friend...