Saturday, March 7, 2009

Meaning Of My Spongebob Quote

Or what it means to me at least. I like that quote because it leaves so much open to be interpreted. Maybe it means nothing to you -- and I respect that -- but to me it says that it just is. It doesn't matter where you put the wood shavings of life, they will still be wood shavings. Not necessarily bad wood shavings, just wood shavings (or chocolates if you would rather relate to Forrest Gump instead). Something I repeat to my family often when they bemoan my fate because, believe it or not, I try not to bemoan with them because it just is and all my bemoaning won't change a thing. Yeah, most days it sucks, but it just is, there is nothing to be done about it but shuffle my wood shavings into whatever receptacle is most fitting for my mood, whether that be a bucket, pail, toilet, barf pan or even a bed pan. I never really had the "why me's" because I can only answer myself, "why not me?" I wouldn't give this to anyone else regardless of how I feel about them. Not even my worst enemies because then I would have to feel a measure of sympathy for them that I am not willing to extend.

My mom always says she wishes it were her instead of me that got the MS, and I always say, "what a load of MANURE!" My mommy has her BSN in nursing that she got in extremely difficult circumstances. After my dad walked out she worked full time and went to school full time to try and make our lives better by being able to provide for us because my dad tried to get out of paying child support and was very successful in avoiding it for many years. (Wow. That was a run on sentence that could rival Defoe's record for Most-Words-With-The-Least-Punctuation.). She donates blood as often as possible, she volunteers with the Red Cross, and even does volunteer work at local schools. She is not someone who needs to be limited by MS. I never did any of the above and, the way I see it, I have less to offer (due to my selfish, lazy nature) then she does. She does far more for this world and all who inhabit it then I do, and it would be criminal to give her my MS just because, as a mother, she would rather take on the all bad things that happen to her chicks (she is a total mother hen).

No matter what it does to me, it still just is. The good, the bad, and the ugly -- and it can get very ugly (steroids anyone? Especially after 5 days of being revved up to superhuman levels, then the crash that leaves my unable to move off the couch for a good 2 days afterwards.) I'll admit I enjoy my bad attitude; I enjoy wearing it like a loving cloak wrapped around me; I enjoy the energy it gives me to push the limits of what I can and cannot do; I enjoy the humor it gives me to deal with this disease, even if I'm the only one amused; I enjoy the choice of where I want to put my wood shavings each day. It's a quote that really speaks to me. It says, "it just is, Blindbeard."

9 comments:

pUNKrOCKfairy said...

You should totally write a "Tao of Spongebob," and expand on the simple, cheerful, straighforwardness of animated sea life. I'd read it, and I get it.

BRAINCHEESE said...

Agree with PRFairy...I often get asked the question "why you?" more so about my profession (dealing with stinky, crazy, sometimes dangerous mentally ill) versus MS...and the answer is always the same: "Why NOT me?" or "Who is BETTER qualified than me?" I don't typically get angry BECAUSE I have MS...it stems more from my own sense of weakness and lack of control if I get angry/depressed. And besides, "whining is just anger being pushed through a very tight hole"...that's why it's so annoying when people whine...frickin' squeaky air balloon offensive. LOL

I STILL believe we were twins separated at birth! I have a sticker of Patrick on my favorite expensive pen at work...because I know no one else in my office would be caught DEAD writing with a cartoon character pen! Hehe...

Denver Refashionista said...

An excellent point. Why not me? I still get caught in the "why me?" cycle and it just pisses me off.

Diane J Standiford said...

I was reading that quote from your blog to some friends yesterday. It is so truth-filled. I too have heard my aunt Vi, she is 102, say, "I should have got that not you." LMAO, I wasn't into sports, not a risk taker, not a trip person, happy to stay home---who better to get MS?

LISA EMRICH said...

I watched a special show recently about women and a hospital in Ethiopia (I think). Many of the women were very young, still teenagers, and had horrendous childbirth experiences. We're talking waiting days before getting help to pull a dead baby out of them which had gotten stuck.

What happened to these girls was that a fistula (hole) was torn between their vagina and bladder and/or rectum. Just imagine after delivering a dead baby, leaking with urine constantly, being toss aside and living in a shack because you stank so terribly.

A hospital was built in one of the cities (which could be days of walking from many villages) with surgeons to help correct the damage. For the young girls that the surgery was successful, they were so very pleased to be able to return to their communities and lives. Some girls had to come back for additional surgeries, each visit staying at the hospital for at least a month to help repair their spirits as well.

There was one girl who had been back three times and still was incontinent (fistula repaired). Kegels had not worked, her bladder was so damaged to be half the size as normal, and she had almost no sphincter control. You would not believe how ecstatic someone would be to discover the world of catheters. It gave her her life back and instead of going home to her village, she was offered a chance to work at an orphanage.

One woman who went home had made an important decision. She was not going to marry off her young daughter (age about 4). She was going to let her choose when she got older, unlike her mother who was married off when she was 8 or 9.

There is always something going on somewhere for somebody....and sometimes that somebody is me, it's you, it's all of us. I love your reasoning for not wishing MS on your enemy, that you'd be compelled to have a little sympathy for them. I can relate.

And I'm afraid that I see myself in Linda's comment. It takes awhile to get anger out of my system and I probably sound like that frickin' squeaky air balloon - and NOT when I'm playing my horn, or buzzing my lips, either.

So why don't we all collect our wood shavings and start a bonfire? Could be an impressive flame!!

gurnygob said...

Hi I just wanted to share this link with you. Please watch the movie by Rick Simpson "run from the cure" Also please tell all your friends and family.
http://www.phoenixtears.ca/index.html

Anonymous said...

...please where can I buy a unicorn?

Anonymous said...

...please where can I buy a unicorn?

Anonymous said...

[url=http://italtubi.com/tag/levitra-online/ ]acquistare levitra [/url] lmBravo, questa magnifica frase appena inciso levitra senza ricetta ifqnfvhetk [url=http://www.mister-wong.es/user/COMPRARCIALIS/comprar-viagra/]viagra cialis[/url]