Thursday, January 29, 2009

Questions, Thoughts, Concerns

I would like to start a new topic on this here blog o' mine. I've had this idea rattling around my head for awhile and finally decided to do something about it. Bring me your tired and weary, lay your head upon my bosom and take all and any advice/answers with a huge grain of salt, as they are merely my own opinion, albeit very good opinions in my opinion. So, without further ado, move over Dear Abby! (Also, I welcome any comments that you would like to share, especially if you have better advice than me, which is very likely.)

Dear Blindbeard,
I have a spot on my left foot that itches and buzzes off and on. This has been going on for a year. Now my left side has joined in with the itching. Two of the fingers in my right hand sometimes get cold and they ache. Any ideas? I haven't been to a doctor yet as these seemed like silly ailments. Any thoughts?
Jo

Dear Beautiful Jo,
My itchy spots nearly drive me mad. I dig up my skin in places, making me look like an even more diseased freak than I already am. The only thing that tames my itchy spots is Neurotin. It helps bring down the itch, soothes my aches and pains into a manageable dull roar, and even untangles my bunched up muscles, or the Periodic Limb Movements that steal my sleep and make me kick my legs uncontrollably. I too have the cold problem. My feet feel like frostbitten blocks of ice no matter how much heat is on them. I haven't found anything yet that has helped that problem, so I try not to judge the temperature of anything by what my feet are telling me. If there is something out there that helps with that cold feeling, I would love to hear about it. I get tired of my frozen feet, but after hearing about the opposite problem, ie the burning, I think I will take the frozen over the burning.

I have itchy spots in some of the most embarrassing and ridiculous places. I normally don't like to tell too many people about it, but it may be pertinent here. I have itchy bands on both arms, right above the elbow; my feet, in addition to being permanently frozen, itch so bad that I have to kick off my shoes and scratch and scratch sometimes, no matter where I am (like in a store! Making it look like I have raging Athlete's Foot); and I have the most embarrassing itchy spot on my left leg, slightly off to the side of my... delicates. I hate having to scratch that one when anyone may be able to see me do it, but sometimes I have to just dig in regardless of who may be observing me. When I really start to itch, I know my Neurotin is wearing off.

I hope this helps you.
Love,
Blindbeard

Dear Blindbeard,
Why can't you be serious? Multiple Sclerosis is no laughing matter!
Serious Sally

Dear Beautiful Serious Sally,
I beg to differ. If I couldn't laugh at this disease and the things it does to me, I would cry. How can I take myself seriously when I trip over a dust mote on the floor? Or the time I fell, butt naked, because of a drop of moisture on the bathroom floor, with such a squeal of pain it brought everyone in the house on the run to see me crumpled, and did I mention butt naked, on the bathroom floor. How about the ataxia that makes me stagger and look drunk even though I haven't had a drink in years? There is plenty of humor there. It makes me want to carry a bottle of soda in a brown paper bag with me at all times, just for poops and giggles. Or my inability to see any details unless the thing I'm trying to see is inches from my face. Try going shopping for bloomers and burying your face into a pile to see if there are any you like, and then tell me that's not funny! It makes me think of that quote, "the first sign of being a grownup is the ability to laugh at yourself." I may not have the words exactly right, and I can't remember who said it, but I think of that often and find it to be very true. If being serious about MS helps you, by all means be serious, but I can not be serious about a disease that renders me ridiculous.

Love,
Blindbeard

7 comments:

Jen said...

Dear Blindbeard:

Thank you for not taking yourself too seriously. I for one have become "burned out" from MS talk (my own included and it renders me disinterested in writing at my site, but I still do it in case someone comes in from a search engine looking for an MSer's perspective on things.) I really get sick of talking about MS in a serious nature and I'm at the point where it is an annoyance and not something I want to analyze, dissect, or pontificate on. I don't have too many feelings right now except boredom. So it's nice to come here and not want to gouge my eyes out. Or jump (from my first floor window.)

Love,

A Fan

wonlife said...

i love the advice column idea! neurontin was not a good med for me - my kids have stories of helping dad up to bed, which i don't remember. a little creepy. glad it works or you.

BRAINCHEESE said...

I come here trolling for patients, and I find JEN jumping from her first floor window! Jackpot!!

(And you thought I came here to take you to the dark side, eh, Blindbeard?!?)

Linda D. in Seattle

Webster said...

If anyone could take you to the dark side, it would be BRaiNcheese! Mwahahaha.

Re: the itching and other sensations. Sensations are perceived by our brains in some sort of hierarchy, exactly what, I don't know. But you might try to see if pressure helps block the itching, since a pressure stocking is pretty easy to come by.

I know from experience with some itching on my neck, that a cold compress stopped it - but it wasn't practical, and therefore, only gave stopgap relief.

That happened to me in the days before Neurontin, so I can't speak to the efficacy of that, having had no experience with it.

Jen said...

Right now I'm teetering on the ledge (of the french door that opens to the deck-- even less dramatic...)

Help me, Blindbeard!.....

LISA EMRICH said...

Dear Blindbeard,

Help!!! I've found that those who hold the whip above me...ok, so only those who publish some of my blatherings for monetary gain...want me to write things which are "actionable."

Actionable...seriously? Like anybody would DO ANYTHING based on which letters I type and in what order.

So here's my Dear Blindy for you:

Please tell me what actions we must take in order to avoid resembling the fakery masters of this bloody disease?

Denver Refashionista said...

Dear Blindbeard:
How can I learn to be as hilarious as you? Seriously, love ya. I think your advice is great.