Saturday, July 26, 2008

Non-MS Related

I need a moment of humor right now. I am feeling so stressed that it is easy for me to forget about the rest of life. So in that spirit, I am going to post something I posted on my other blog that still amuses me. It is relevant again because Princess is having friends over to spend the night and the post still makes me laugh -- maybe because it is too true. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this as much as I did/do. Without further ado, I present to you a break from all things MS and negative:

A New Barbie Movie

What is it about kids that if you are not standing over them with a taser they won't shower, brush their hair, or practice basic dental hygiene? Princess had a friend over this weekend and between the 2 of them my house was not fresh. They complained that I kept my house too cold, but I could not bear to turn up the heat and risk them becoming more greasy and sweaty. They were playing Barbies and the storyline they made up was too much fun for me to ignore. So here is their storyline with a little help from me:

Barbie In Pungent Princess
By Princess and Friend

Barbie: Oh, Ken, gazing at the moon with you is soooo romantical!

Ken: I know, Barbie. I bet if we wiped the crusties from our eyes the moon would be even more beautiful!

Barbie: Excuse me, Ken, I have an itchy booger that I must pick.

Ken: You know, Barbie, some people use a kneenex to pick their nose! Isn't that silly?!

Barbie: How strange! I just flick them off into space and hope they don't land on the wall and get me in trouble! I hate having to clean them off.

Ken: Blame it on Kelly, that is what I do!

Barbie: Oh, Ken, you are so smart and wonderful! And I love moon gazing near an onion factory with you!

Ken: That's not an onion factory you're smelling, its me! I don't bother to wear deodorant.

Barbie: Me either! I don't bathe much and find deodorant is too easy to forget to put on.

Ken: Barbie, lets hold hands and run into the ocean together!

Barbie: Oh, Ken, we can't! Remember last time we created an oil spill and killed off all the fish creating widespread famine amongst sea gulls, who were then forced to eat their young and we got in trouble and are now banned from any large body of water.

Ken: Oh, Barbie, that is why I love you! You are so smart even if your body is shaped like a wasp with a too tiny waist and bulging bust and hips! Let me run my fingers through those greasy strings that you call hair!

Barbie: Oh, Ken, you can't! I like having birds nest in my hair and I am afraid you will bother them if you do!

Ken: You are right again, Barbie! I have several families of rats in my hair and do not want to disturb them either.

Barbie: Are you cold, Ken? Your teeth look woolly, like they have on thick sweaters!

Ken: No, Barbie, I don't brush my teeth unless someone forces me and even then I just eat a little toothpaste.

Barbie: Me too! Oh, Ken, the mingled stench of our body odors is making me light-headed! Lets go back into the house and turn the heat up to optimize our pungent aroma!

Ken: Lets hold hands and run into the house, Barbie!

And off they run into a smelly sunset together. I probably don't have to point out that I was the only one amused by all this. I would have added things about stinky feet, rotten breath, hair-brush-phobia, wearing the same clothes day after day and so on but I had 2 stinky little girls who were not amused and threatening to come close to me. And even with my super human power to withstand gross things, that was too much for me.

*Author's Note: Every time I read this is it cracks me up all over again. I can just imagine how thick the melodrama was, their high-pitched voices waxing and waning over the "dramatic" parts, and, best of all, their irritation with me over my amusement at their expense. Who said having kids was not rewarding? (Okay, it was me, but there are a few perks.)


Lisa Emrich said...

Kids are funny. It's amazing that they can go years without too much body odor. And then boom!!!! Hormones start to kick in...and phewwwieee...the stench can be overpowering. Add a little dirt and sweat to that. Enough said.

Denver Refashionista said...