Y. Bother

I'm going to change my name to that. After my SSA hearing, I think it is rather fitting. I would have written about it sooner, but the whole thing left me in a deep blue funk that I am still trying to claw my way out of. The next time I EVER have to go to any kind of SSA bowlsheet, I'm going to yell everything I have to say into the toilet and flush it all down, because it will have the same effect (is that the right effect/affect? I'm not sure, but I am sure that I don't really care right now.). After all the crap I had to say, all the questions I answered for her royal highness, all the "experts" throwing it their 2 cents -- regardless of whether it is true or not -- at the end of it all, the judge asked the vocational expert what a person who can stand and walk for 6 hours could do for a job. Why did I bother to talk at all?! I should have just asked them to tell me what my problems are, if any. And could they please tell me what my limitations are, again, if any. Dearest Judge, could you please tell me how it feels to live in this body? Please explain my fatigue to me, my pain, and ignore my gimping walk. I am breathlessly awaiting your answer, because living with it is nothing to what you have to say about it all. I left the courtroom feeling like I was wearing a neck brace and someone knocked a book off a table, and I whipped my head around to check it out, like in a TV show.

Did you know that the day after you get turned down for Disability (SSDI), you can file for SSI? If you no longer have the work credits for Disability, as I do not because this whole farce has taken so long, you can apply for SSI, which is for the poor saps like myself that no longer can apply for their full disability because they haven't worked X amount of years out of the last so many. Nobody told me this! I just found out about it earlier this year, when I reapplied and the whole mess got rolled into one huge mess. So if you get turned down, reapply IMMEDIATELY before the whole appeals process starts, so they don't get mushed together. The trick is to make sure they are separate. I am now impatiently awaiting my unfavorable decision so I can apply for SSI before filing my appeals, because I AM going to file an appeal because I hate them all and am not going to just shrivel up into a little ball of manure and go away. I am looking forward to what they come up with as a job I can still do. Marathon runner? Acrobat? Contortionist? Please make it better than a grocery bagger. A little creativity would be deeply appreciated.

Ugh! Other than all that fun, not much else has been going on. Well, nothing worth writing about anyway. Except maybe how now that it is getting colder and we are keeping the windows closed, the dogs seem to be gassier. Or a great story of how Sugarbowl sharted at work the other day and we have been singing the diarrhea song to her, but she can laugh at herself so she agrees with the whole "pants full of foam" part. Or even how the medium sized dog jumped on me in the yard yesterday and ripped a huge hole in my pants, showing off my unshaven legs to anyone who happened to be looking. Yeah, like I said, nothing interesting. Now I must go and get ready for my job as a marathon runner. Smell ya later.