A Rant Unrelated To Anything

I just had my most darling little dog fixed yesterday. When I had adopted him from the Humane Society he weighed 3 pounds and they told me that he would be lucky to hit 10 pounds. He weighed in at 12 pounds. As a devoted adopter of only unwanted animals, I find the Humane Society very irritating. I also find all those animal rescue groups annoying for the exact same reason: their assumption that no one knows how to treat animals correctly except themselves. They make you lie to adopt an animal. Too often they charge an outrageous amount for an animal that risks extinction if someone doesn't come along and want it. So many animals are put down -- too many -- that you would think they would make it a little easier to adopt. And those animal rescue groups? Forget about it! They want way way way too much money, often want you to sign a contract outlining the homemade meals you will feed the animal, and want to do home visits. I have successfully raised several pets, one to 16 and am currently providing a loving and safe home for an almost 10 year old dog with horrible seizures and a disposition that is getting more bitchy as the day progresses. I don't make their meals, but they are not exactly starving, especially as I usually share what's on my plate too. I do not work in an animal testing lab, or put my animals through rigorous SATs or the like. I have found that their paws do not have the dexterity to hold a pencil well enough to shade in the correct circles so they invariably fail. And I know they are smarter than that. Well, kinda. My dogs sleep in bed with me and the littlest one is tucked in my robe right now. I don't hit my pets, except a swat on the butt for the biggest dog when he tries to hump my male cat. (That cat has only a stub of a tail due to the cruelty of some kids breaking it and the last thing he needs is a big dog trying to make babies with him.) I'm glad the Humane Society is there and they provide an excellent service to those animals who need it, but do they have to be such pompous ass hats? Do they have to treat me like I have no idea how animals should be treated? Like I only want to grab the dog, race to my car and start abusing it? And those animal rescues that insist on a home visit? Really? Are you going to interview my dogs and cats and make sure I am worthy? I'm not much of a liar in general, but the Humane Society makes me lie. I don't bother with the animal rescue groups because the money they want for their animals could buy me a new car. And a luxury vacation. And even a new set of luggage for that vacation. I also object to a home visit. It's ridiculous and insulting. I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure there is a huge population out there that do treat animals well and they don't all work at the Humane Society or run an animal rescue. I want an animal to love and rule me and my house, but I'm not willing to be finger printed or have a criminal check done on me to adopt your pet. So, yes, I will lie like the cheap rug I am and take this most darling little dog. Now you can go back to being pompous and self righteous, Humane Society.