That's Right! I Said it!

I don't mean to be rude, but sometimes when others are being rude, the censor button on my mouth breaks down. I am so notorious for it that when my little sister had a similar situation happen recently, she called me right after it happened to let me know because she said it made her think of me. I hear, "You didn't really say that?!" so often it surprises me, because don't they know me by now? When have I ever not said it?

At my fattest -- 55lbs more than I am now -- my little sister and I went to Taco Bell for lunch. As soon as we park, a whippersnapper pulls in and parks so close to me that I have to squeeze myself out of my car door. I called out to him, "Damn, honey, I ain't as skinny as I used to be!" while trying to exit my car without denting his or my car. My little sister was laughing so hard that he turned red and decided he really didn't want Taco Bell after all and got back into his car and drove off.

When I had my first attack of optic neuritis I couldn't see or read anything unless it was inches from my face. I was shopping at Walmart and noticed the store manager mysteriously turned up everywhere that I was. I get done shopping and head to self checkout because I'm anal and like to organize my stuff by what goes where at my house. I don't even get a chance to scan one thing before a lady comes up and starts grabbing all my stuff to ring it up. I tell her I can do it myself and she says, "Oh, I don't mind!" I asked her if she was doing it because the store manager was following me all over the store and they wanted to make sure I paid for everything. She just claimed to be "one of the nice ones." But she sure made herself scarce after I said that. I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a thief, and following me is just giving the thieves more privacy to rip you off.

Another time shopping at Walmart -- maybe I need to start shopping elsewhere -- and a guy starts grabbing up my crap to ring it up for me. I asked him if he was bored. He said no. Then he grabbed a food item before all my non food items were rang up, which is unacceptable, so I stopped him and told him I don't ring up food items before all my non food items are rang up. He acted like I had deeply insulted him (I hope I did!) and sulked off to ring up somebody else.

Renewing my license plates, the lady behind the counter is being a total bitch about everything. It's not like I had a million questions or wanted to quibble over the cost, but she was ruder than hell! I get my new tags and as I'm leaving I tell her, "Thanks for your help and thanks for being such a bitch about it!" I noticed that the people working around her were smiling and she had a shocked, open mouthed stare, like she could not believe somebody would dast say such a thing to her. Sadly for her, I dast.

My little sister had to kill some time before work recently, so she went into an antique store to check out their wares. The lady behind the counter followed her all over the store. At one point my little sister turned around from the shelf she was looking at and bumped into her! So Sugarbowl asked her if she owned the store. The lady said she just worked there. Sugarbowl asked her a few more questions and said, "I just figured we should get to know each other better since we are shopping together." She also told the lady that she had no intentions of stealing anything so she could go back to whatever she was doing before Sugarbowl came into the store. She said another shopper started laughing and the lady huffed off. She was so proud of herself for actually saying something to someone, that she called me as soon as it happened because she "pulled a Blindbeard."

I'm not advocating rudeness, but almost tripping over the worker in the store because they are that close to you? They need to be called on it. I would have said something.