Copaxone, "Leave no area uncovered!"
Do you find yourself missing those maddeningly itchy mosquito bites in winter? Do you want to have so many lumps on your body that people think you sprouted more boobs? Are there still some areas on your refrigerator where you can see the fridge? Do you have some space left on your bookshelves? Are you not getting as much mail as you would like? Would you like more people to call you? Then you need Copaxone!
Copaxone can give you all the itchy injection sites you can scratch in a day, and even more for the next day! Why settle for 2 boobs when you can have countless? You will feel like you need mammograms for all 7 injection areas with Copaxone! We guarantee that you will be buried in so many magnets for your fridge that no one will ever doubt that a person with MS lives in your house! Each magnet comes stamped with the company name and phone number in case anyone else would like to call us.
We will help you fill up any empty areas of your bookshelves. The makers of Copaxone know that the 521 books you already have about MS are not nearly enough, so they will send you more, even if you didn't ask for them! We will even send you several copies of the same book so you can share with friends! Act now and we will even send you our daily planner that highlights all your possible injection sites on every page! Whip it out and impress people with how dedicated you are to all things MS!
Your mailbox will overflow with all our correspondence! We will send you more letters repeating the same things than you will ever care to open, let alone read! We don't want you to ever doubt how dedicated we are to you and you making sure to inject yourself every day! Your mail person will want to curse our names for sending so many love letters to you!
Forget a phone that doesn't ring! People will think you are the most popular person around with all the phone calls you will get from the makers of Copaxone! We will check in with you as much as possible to make sure you are having no problems with our product and to see if you received all our free gifts. You will find yourself avoiding the ringing phone instead of being glad some one finally called you!
Get Copaxone today and "leave no area uncovered!"
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3 comments:
Oh hell, I needed this good laugh. Over time the phone calls slow down and eventually you actually get surprised when one does come through. Then, it's just an occasional piece of mailing and before you know it, you've received yet another "Happy Anniversary" card. You know the kind, marking how many years you've been 'happily' using the product. "Thank you very much."
Last month, I got my 4th anniversary card...and I think that Copaxone only called once this year and that was to tell me about a program which I couldn't use. I think that this hot-and-heavy relationship has fizzled out (but don't tell them). Eventually yours may fizzle out too; it does for all of us who stick around long enough. LOL.
Now the flip side is I take experimental combi rx: copaxone (or placebo)and avonex(or placebo) and wanted support from the company initially (even though I have been an RN many years-it is different injecting yourself!). The company wanted nothing to do with me and also would not help me get a lock box so my grandchildren won't pull them out and play with them or sell at school.I give up. Those glossy crappy guides useless.I do think it (or placebo) helps and I inject in rotation arms, stomach, hips and legs.I do document Upper or lower leg for instance so it is usually 16 days between an area getting injected, inject after warming syringe in hand, reminding self this is bait for the MS monster and worth doing.Best wishes. We wear welts for prevention or delay of progression. Hope you can stand it.Mary
Presents? You got presents? I didn't get any magnets or books or pens or .... Waaaaaaa! I just get sore spots and and red spots and the occasional welt. No fair, I say; It's just no fair.
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