Friday, January 8, 2010

Never Gonna Live That Down

What an eventful last few days we have had. Being snowed in has brought us so much closer and made us remember just how much we love each other. Well, not so much. It's been more like fighting and seeing who is the Queen of the Wii and that only depends on which game we are playing. I'm so out of practice on a ton of those games that Princess has been handing my ass to me more often than I get to hand hers to her. But today promises to be another snow day so I will get to hone my skills and maybe not be last in all the games. Sigh, dare to dream.

The other day Princess wanted to see what her zodiac sign was so she looked it up and announced that she was "Pissy." I about fell off the couch laughing and told her she is a Pisces, although Sugarbowl and I agree that Pissy is more fitting. Now we tease and heckle her to no end about being a Pissy and think we need to start a petition to have it officially changed. She doesn't see the humor in being a Pissy and thinks that her wonderful pre-teen attitude should not be taken into consideration. If anything she thinks we should start a petition to have a non-Catholic be able to be canonized and have her be the patron saint of tortured pre-teens. I think she should stick to being Pissy; she is no saint -- said by another non-saint.

Last week Sugarbowl was having abdominal pains. They kept getting worse and worse until she woke up one morning no longer able to bear the pain so I drove her to the emergency room, it being too early for any doctor's offices to be open. We spent several hours there while they took blood and x rays and finally a CT scan to make sure she wasn't having an appendicitis. And the official diagnosis? Wait for it... wait for it... She was full of sh*t! Literally! (I am writing this really early because if she knew I was telling this story we would have an even worse fighting day than yesterday and my poor butt can't take much more hitting). She had been under a lot of stress and was not emptying her bowels, even though she had been pooping, it was not enough. The CT scan came back with an "enlarged colon" and the nurse said it had to be really bad for them to note that. She is so embarrassed that she went to the emergency room to find out that she is full of sh*t. I'm not! It provided us with the punch line to every joke about her for the rest of her life! It will never get old. She could probably get disability before me with such a great diagnosis. Maybe I should have tried that one... "MS and full of sh*t," it's a sure thing!

Lastly, this has nothing to do with anyone I know, but it is so ridiculous I have to share it. We went to the children's museum a little while ago, before Mother Nature wanted to test our endurance and see how long we could be stuck in a house together before cabin fever sets in (must grab axe and chop up family...). There was a woman there that was wearing a homemade shirt that said, in puffy paint that she had most likely done herself, "single and looking." Why would anyone wear that shirt to a children's museum where most of the men there are with their families and probably not looking? Better yet, why would anyone make that shirt, never mind actually wearing it out and about?! I tried not to stare but I couldn't help it. It's not everyday that you see someone that incredibly dense and displaying such poor judgement. Not counting when I venture out, of course.

4 comments:

Webster said...

OMG, I just have to comment on this.
First, Your 'Pissy' daughter is not alone; I have had the experience of having abdominal pain and going to the ER for it, only to find out that I was ... constipated. I know. And it took three more days of Milk of Magnesia before things started to clear out. Note to daughter: drink more water.

And to that lady at the museum with such poor taste in clothing: Who do you think you're going to find at a Children's museum? Single fathers? Yes. Divorced fathers? Yes. Married fathers? Yes. Pedophiles? Probably. But you might be too dumb to notice.

Denver Refashionista said...

This post was hilarious. I especially love the part about your sister. I'm laughing at work...

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EJ said...

Anybody home? Miss your posts.