Wednesday, November 25, 2009

From Bad To Worse

There comes a time in every one's life when you should just stop talking. No, really, just stop, before you make yourself look any worse. Sadly, some people don't like to stop and then there is nothing left to do but laugh and make fun of them. I am always available to laugh and make fun of anyone socially retarded enough to go too far, hence why I am sharing this story.

Recently a member/friend of the family told me that because I have MS I am not exactly a great catch anymore (not like I ever was). It would be hard for me to find anyone who would be willing to date me because of my MS; it is too hard of a thing for anyone to deal with and not many men would want a woman with my problems. I found it funny because:

A. Anyone who feels that way I would not be interested in because they are obviously idiots.

B. My ex thinks I am a great catch, to the point it makes me a little conceited sometimes. He makes me feel like if boys knew I was single they would be clamoring at my door to have me.

and C. I couldn't believe that anyone would say such a thing to someone with any kind of disease or handicap.

Luckily I am thick skinned enough and value this person's opinion so little that I was not even slightly offended. I told this story to every one who would listen because it is so ridiculous. My mother was not amused. In fact she was PISSED! She ranted and raved and was shocked that this person had made it this far in life without someone offing them. She is glad that it didn't hurt my feelings and that it was said to me instead of someone who would think that the general population truly believes that about a person "with my condition." My mom called this person up and ripped their arse for saying something so potentially hurtful to someone. After that, I got this email from this person:

subject: You are marriageable if you want to be...

I received a phone call from your mother saying I told you no one would have you. I never said that, if I did I was wrong. You are a special case. I am not telling you something you don't already know. If you want to get remarried you need to find someone who understands your condition and is willing to go with it. There is a site on the internet "Dating Disabled. com" There are people on that site with all kinds of conditions. And, there may be other sites that I don't know about. You need to find someone who is a "caregiver." This person may have problems of their own. Or, they could be perfectly healthy with a golden heart. You are marriageable. You just need to find the right person (don't we all?). I love you. I am sorry if I send you the wrong messages at times.

I think that speaks for itself and needs no commentary from me. I look forward to yours.


Travelogue for the Universe said...

Tacky people suck and should be avoided. One never knows their fate nor does disability define a person. Mariage is not about sex or being a cergiver. It is about a partnership of two people who complement each other and build a castle with a wall to defend against morons. Ignore those stupid small minded people. In my long tem care job, I expect some spouses NOT to be caregivers. In those circumstances you are better to preserve your love life and get the icky personal care from a stranger. I am confident my husband and I can weather this. He did not know I have MS when I married him. He broke his leg and I took care of him too. Have a great Thanksgiving. I am thankful as you said the idiot said it to someone who could handle it. What will her SO do when she can't walk?? PS, I heard new MS meds are in the pipeline...Best wishes, Mary G

My Dad has MS said...

Shortly after my Dad was diagnosed with MS I asked him to come live with me... he refused. I was a divorced mom and he truly believed that if he was living with me I would never find a husband because no one would ever want a woman caring for a "disabled" Dad. As time went on he got worse and finally moved in. Not long after that I found the man of my dreams and he is wonderful with Dad. There are wonderful people out there... the are just living on a higher spiritual plane than your "friend". Your Mr. Right is there waiting... when you are ready for him you will cross paths.

Denver Refashionista said...

So dumb...

My new boyfriend also has MS but he told me he would be hot for me even if he did not. That was flattering since I am ten years his senior (LOL).

I must admit that it is nice dating someone who understands. He will certainly never care for me but we often share a copaxone-good time. We can also share laughs about not being able to hold it and other public embarassments.

He suggested that the best form of therapy would be for two people to get locked up in a room and have to use the bathroom in front of each other for a day or two and then all the shit would literally be out in the open. I have to agree...

BTW, I would so date you if I were single. You are funny and hot--a winning combination.
Stay sexy,

Have Myelin? said...

WOW. I don't know what to say!

A disability can strike down anyone at anytime so careful where you stand!

I met my boyfriend a week to the day after my daughter's wake. I know...odd, but that's what happened. He has to deal with not only my MS but my grief too but that is how it is and he does a good job too. I guess they do appear when you least expect it...

I am blown away with her comments!

sarah said...

"You are a special case."

Oh. My. God. Seriously? I'm so sorry, maybe she's nice otherwise, but fuck her. That's ridiculous. You are you, not your disease. GAH.

Unknown said...

Why did you stop blogging? Are you more healthy? Have you said duck MS and moved on with life?