Its Hard To Be So Delicious

I wouldn't know, not being delicious in any way. My little sister won't touch hot dogs after I told her what my ex-hubby said about them. He worked in a meat processing plant for 10 years before starting on UPRR and said that if I knew what hot dogs were made of I wouldn't eat them. The joke is on him. I do know what they are made of and I do find them delicious anyway. We had pigs in a blanket the other day and I made the mistake of repeating what my ex said about hot dogs: that they are only anuses and eyelids. My little sister gave the rest of her pigs to the dogs while I enjoyed my eyelids and anuses. Some people are so silly.

Halloween was totally forgettable this year. We have a house full of great candy and my Trigeminal Neuralgia decided that I don't need candy, or food that requires any kind of chewing at all for that matter. I thought my TN was in the past. Sure, I still get jaw pain when I'm tired, usually at night or when I get too run down, but it has come back and I'm wondering why it likes the cooler months to torture me. The right side of my face is killing me and my teeth are singing that old song. The back of the right side of my jaw feels like the day after a dentist visit when you have to get a shot back there and it is really sore the next day. To add to my torture, everyone is enjoying candy and solid food that requires chewing right in front of me -- medieval torture chambers have nothing on my roomies. I can't stand anything touching that side of my face and kept waking up throughout the night whenever I would roll onto my right side, making my left side stiff and my chest feel flattened. (Note to self: contact neuro and see if anything would help the pain; ie better pain meds, shock treatments, frontal lobotomy...)

My little sister has to go to court for the 3 month review to see about child support for Princess. They lowered it 3 months ago (even though he is a veteran and gets over $1000 a month for being a stupid drunk and not working) to $90 while he was in his latest treatment center. Now before you applaud him for going to treatment, let me clear one thing up: he doesn't go to treatment unless something has happened and he is threatened with jail time, like a car accident or another DUI. Then when the danger has passed he goes back to being a drunken !&@*. My father-in-law is the same way, except he would never go to treatment, only stop drinking without a word about why until we heard later that he hit several parked cars and drug one for over a block with several witnesses and in full daylight -- he being a day drunk. A day drunk is the worst. People expect a drunk late at night, not when they are coming home from work or picking up their kids from school, and when I said to my ex that he was going to kill someone someday then how would he feel? My ex said that his father doesn't care and has no remorse for his actions. A fine specimen of humanity at its best. The last time he stopped drinking for over 6 months we found out later that he had hit a truck at a fishing hole while backing up with his fishing boat in tow, lost his license, was dropped by his insurance and looking at possible jail time. Once the danger of jail time didn't materialize he started hitting the bottle again and driving even though he has no license. So when my little sister said she wanted to go shopping for something decent to wear to her court date -- she has to look her best for her ex's to make them sorry (??) -- I was less than thrilled to go along and help her pick out an outfit to wow the drunken pants off her ex and told her I couldn't possibly find any motivation to get off the couch, put down the peanut butter and go with her. I realize you don't want your exes to be glad they aren't with you, but to try and make them regret letting you go when they aren't worth keeping themselves?! That I cannot relate to. My ex is lucky if I throw on a clean sweatshirt and socks without holes in them. I crawl into town to do whatever it is that makes me have to see him with a crappy "laundry day" bra and unflattering clothes. Never any makeup or any semblance of control with my unruly hair. I don't care how he feels about my leaving and if my appearance scares him off, which it hasn't done yet *sigh*, I still can't care.

So what was the point of all this rambling? I don't know. I had to share the picture of Midget Poo Poo Platter exhausted by the weight of his delicious, fluffy buns and I had to share the boring details of my life right now -- I'm nice like that. Hope your Halloween was less forgettable then mine and I am off to do Tysabri today, on what would have been my 7 year wedding anniversary. For the record, I agree with Lisa Emrich's (I think it was Lisa who said it) comment about not needing to worry about boyfriends right now, my divorce being so recent. I only wear makeup when I go oot and aboot with my little sister because she worries about me if I am too antisocial for too long. She thinks I need to get out there again and I think when the time is right it will happen, it doesn't need to be forced. But to appease her I tame my hair and put on my eyes and play the social gimp, so she won't worry about me. The downside to having made a "suicide attempt" is that everyone worries too much when you are down and they want to make you "all better." So to keep them happy and not worried, I pretend to care about the opposite sex when with my little sister, which she will report to the rest of my family about and lessen their worry. Anything I can do to put their minds at ease I will do... except most of the things they want me to do. But I can pretend.