Friday, January 8, 2010

Never Gonna Live That Down

What an eventful last few days we have had. Being snowed in has brought us so much closer and made us remember just how much we love each other. Well, not so much. It's been more like fighting and seeing who is the Queen of the Wii and that only depends on which game we are playing. I'm so out of practice on a ton of those games that Princess has been handing my ass to me more often than I get to hand hers to her. But today promises to be another snow day so I will get to hone my skills and maybe not be last in all the games. Sigh, dare to dream.

The other day Princess wanted to see what her zodiac sign was so she looked it up and announced that she was "Pissy." I about fell off the couch laughing and told her she is a Pisces, although Sugarbowl and I agree that Pissy is more fitting. Now we tease and heckle her to no end about being a Pissy and think we need to start a petition to have it officially changed. She doesn't see the humor in being a Pissy and thinks that her wonderful pre-teen attitude should not be taken into consideration. If anything she thinks we should start a petition to have a non-Catholic be able to be canonized and have her be the patron saint of tortured pre-teens. I think she should stick to being Pissy; she is no saint -- said by another non-saint.

Last week Sugarbowl was having abdominal pains. They kept getting worse and worse until she woke up one morning no longer able to bear the pain so I drove her to the emergency room, it being too early for any doctor's offices to be open. We spent several hours there while they took blood and x rays and finally a CT scan to make sure she wasn't having an appendicitis. And the official diagnosis? Wait for it... wait for it... She was full of sh*t! Literally! (I am writing this really early because if she knew I was telling this story we would have an even worse fighting day than yesterday and my poor butt can't take much more hitting). She had been under a lot of stress and was not emptying her bowels, even though she had been pooping, it was not enough. The CT scan came back with an "enlarged colon" and the nurse said it had to be really bad for them to note that. She is so embarrassed that she went to the emergency room to find out that she is full of sh*t. I'm not! It provided us with the punch line to every joke about her for the rest of her life! It will never get old. She could probably get disability before me with such a great diagnosis. Maybe I should have tried that one... "MS and full of sh*t," it's a sure thing!

Lastly, this has nothing to do with anyone I know, but it is so ridiculous I have to share it. We went to the children's museum a little while ago, before Mother Nature wanted to test our endurance and see how long we could be stuck in a house together before cabin fever sets in (must grab axe and chop up family...). There was a woman there that was wearing a homemade shirt that said, in puffy paint that she had most likely done herself, "single and looking." Why would anyone wear that shirt to a children's museum where most of the men there are with their families and probably not looking? Better yet, why would anyone make that shirt, never mind actually wearing it out and about?! I tried not to stare but I couldn't help it. It's not everyday that you see someone that incredibly dense and displaying such poor judgement. Not counting when I venture out, of course.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Who Needs Martha Stewart When You Have MS?

*Author's Note: I posted this one before, but after my last post I felt this one would be a good follow up. I know most of you -- if not all -- have read it, but it is still too true. The only difference is that I now have EVEN MORE stuff in my house. And some of the references are outdated, ie it has been a few more years since being diagnosed and my husband is now my ex.

I didn't go to the MS walk this year. I had several very good reasons why I skipped it: 1. Every time I go I get annoyed and/or frustrated by the people who push past rudely to get to the free stuff or don't move an inch when you say, "Excuse me." I'm glad people want to support MS stuff, but if they are there to help a good cause, why are they so rude to those of us suffering from the reason for the walk? I get irritated fighting the crowd and jostling for a chance to go to a booth. B. Last year when I went, I saw 2 ladies that the year before were doing well, but that year one had a trach because she needed the direst oxygen due to a really bad attack, and the other was in a wheelchair and very confused -- unable to follow a basic conversation. This scares me and saddens me very much. Quatro: I do not need anymore MS stuff.

When I was first diagnosed I wore MS shirts all the time so people would know why I was gimping around and burying my face into everything to be able to see it. Now, almost 3.5 years later, I no longer feel the need to tell anyone anything. I am sick to death of all this MS crap I have everywhere. I hate having people come to my house and feel like they entered a quarantined sick person's house. I am trying to put MS second in my life and not let it define me, but it is a stubborn second fiddle that wants to intrude in every facet of my life. I am trying to get away from decorating my house in MS decor, but the free stuff you get from everything makes it hard. I have, in no particular order, a gaggle of MS T-shirts that we now use mainly for sleep shirts. I say "we" because my little sister, Princess and I all wear them and could probably wear them every night for a week and still have clean ones left. I have an MSAA mouse pad that I don't use, I prefer my Spongebob one. I get 2 calendars every year, from NMSS and MSAA and I get very irritable by all the inspiring quotes on them. So much so that they are relegated to areas that I don't have to see them too much. I get the planners every year, the ones where you can track all your symptoms and problems on, which I don't use too often, I prefer a plain notebook. I have a Copaxone and Avonex carry bags that could be handy for travel to stuff books into. I have Copaxone plastic meds containers that I keep colored pencils in. I ditched the 7 day supply one, it was too small to be of use for me. I have about 50 styrofoam coolers that my meds were delivered in that my husband uses for his camping trips and which we give to anyone who needs a cheap cooler that no one cares what happens to. In my freezer are countless gel packs, some even have Copaxone emblazoned on them, which come in handy whenever a kid hurts their mouth. I have Rebif and Copaxone sticky notes that have taken over my life. No matter how many sticky messages I leave, they seem to multiply like cockroaches when no one is looking. I have pens for every DMD and MS society you can think of, some with thick places that you hold on to for shaky hands. I have a Betaseron first aid kit with a handy rope to wear around my neck, which will never happen in this life. I even have a Rebif mini fan with a cord to keep it around my neck and handy at all times. I wouldn't mind using this, but my nieces and nephews love it so much I hardly ever see it. I have plastic cups and mugs that scream about MS and I only use when all else is dirty. I have an Avonex water jug that could hold half the Platte if need be. Somewhere is a Copaxone Walkman with earphones that I have never used. I have an insulated Copaxone water bottle that I use in the back yard when in the pool. I have Rebif sunscreen and Copaxone chapstick. I have magnets, magnets, magnets, with the major DMD companies' numbers on them and ones to the special pharmacy for my special meds because I am special, and I mean that in an I-should-be-wearing-a-helmet kind of way. I would love to be classy and decorate my house in Martha Stewart, but I have a different theme in my house: Multiple Sclerosis. At least they are both MS but one is sold at K-Mart.

Friday, January 1, 2010

This Blog Is Brought To You By:

Copaxone, "Leave no area uncovered!"

Do you find yourself missing those maddeningly itchy mosquito bites in winter? Do you want to have so many lumps on your body that people think you sprouted more boobs? Are there still some areas on your refrigerator where you can see the fridge? Do you have some space left on your bookshelves? Are you not getting as much mail as you would like? Would you like more people to call you? Then you need Copaxone!

Copaxone can give you all the itchy injection sites you can scratch in a day, and even more for the next day! Why settle for 2 boobs when you can have countless? You will feel like you need mammograms for all 7 injection areas with Copaxone! We guarantee that you will be buried in so many magnets for your fridge that no one will ever doubt that a person with MS lives in your house! Each magnet comes stamped with the company name and phone number in case anyone else would like to call us.

We will help you fill up any empty areas of your bookshelves. The makers of Copaxone know that the 521 books you already have about MS are not nearly enough, so they will send you more, even if you didn't ask for them! We will even send you several copies of the same book so you can share with friends! Act now and we will even send you our daily planner that highlights all your possible injection sites on every page! Whip it out and impress people with how dedicated you are to all things MS!

Your mailbox will overflow with all our correspondence! We will send you more letters repeating the same things than you will ever care to open, let alone read! We don't want you to ever doubt how dedicated we are to you and you making sure to inject yourself every day! Your mail person will want to curse our names for sending so many love letters to you!

Forget a phone that doesn't ring! People will think you are the most popular person around with all the phone calls you will get from the makers of Copaxone! We will check in with you as much as possible to make sure you are having no problems with our product and to see if you received all our free gifts. You will find yourself avoiding the ringing phone instead of being glad some one finally called you!

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